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Con Life

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : September 14, 2016
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Category: Author Events, Inspiration

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dragoncon-2016-pass

I didn’t choose con life. Con life chose me.

So let’s say for the sake of argument that you’re a totally normal person. I’m sure you’ve scrolled through my Facebook page and wondered what’s up with me dressing up like fictional characters and traipsing around a convention paying ludicrous amounts of money to meet famous people, despite having the budget of your average 20-something in the 2016 economy. “Why, dearest Kyoko,” you say in your finest British accent. “I don’t understand why you would do such a thing, especially considering how painfully awkward and introverted you are. Whatever makes you a congoer?”

“Well, thanks for pointing out my personality flaws, but the British accent makes it hurt less,” I say, adjusting my own monocle. “Allow me to explain.”

The first con I ever attended was Momocon: a tiny widdle baby con all the way back in the early 2000’s that at the time of its inception was both free and held on the campus of Georgia Tech in Atlanta, GA. If I’m not mistaken, I either went to the first Momocon ever, or its second or third run-throughs, where there were no guests and pretty much there were only vendors with things to sell and a bunch of nerds holding panels about their favorite anime, movies, TV shows, and games. I had a good time, and so it quickly became a tradition between me and my friends to attend each year as our own mini-vacation. As the years went by, Momocon slowly gathered steam and became a larger con. When attendance goes up, it means more money, and more money means more features at the con itself, like being able to invite guests, bigger vendors, and having more diverse panels and panelists. To my utter delight, after a certain point, Momocon got big enough to start inviting people I was excited to meet like Steve Blum, The Nostalgia Critic, Dante Basco, Little Kuriboh, the Honest Trailers Guy, Two Best Friends Play, and many others. Everything got bigger and better when the con organizers realized the con got so huge that they needed to move into the Georgia World Congress Center, thus streamlining the whole process and making it that much easier to get around to see all the things we congoers wanted to see.

Still, when you think about it, it’s an awful pricey adventure. You pay for entry tickets, gas to drive to the train station, the Marta Breeze card plus trips, food, and merchandise. With Momocon, you can probably blow through a cool $100-$200 over the weekend.

Then there’s this motherf@#er called DragonCon: the stupid, but hot older brother of Momocon.

To be frank, I consider DragonCon to be a clusterf@#k of a con. It is almost always poorly executed and frustrating because a record 77,000 people attended this year, and the con organizers think that 77k people can fit inside five hotels at once. Uh, no. That is in fact NOT a thing. You can’t cram that many people within a five block radius in downtown Atlanta. Any logical person would move the venue to the World Congress Center like Momocon did, but nooooooo. DragonCon insists it can continue to run itself at that capacity in the same venue it’s been in for the past couple of decades, despite the maddening increase in attendance that has steadily climbed over the years.

So you’d think that because you’re forced to be wall-to-wall jampacked with 76,999 other people that you’d at least be getting a service that is run properly, right? Noooooooope. It’s hard to find directions, the panels are always so overcrowded that unless you line up for them two hours prior to their start time, you ain’t gettin’ in, and on top of all of that, it’s expensive as hell. Seriously. You’re coughing up $140 for a four day pass, and that only includes entry. For God’s sake, they won’t even give you a lanyard for your pass. You have to buy a lanyard. That’s right. After $140, they still want more. I hate to admit it, but I’m quite sure I spent a cool $300-$400 at this con two weekends ago.

Am I ashamed?

Well. Yes and no.

Let the stories begin.

So on Friday morning, the day I attended by myself since my best friend was still on her way up from South Georgia, I decided to sacrifice myself to go to the con at the crack of dawn since it would mean beating most of the crowd and allowing me enough time to scope out where all the activities I had lined up would be ahead of time: primarily the times and prices for autographs for four of my favorite celebrities. In case you missed it, I hate this con, and I’ve only attended it previously because I was invited to be on the State of Black Science Fiction panel moderated by Milton Davis, which is excellent press and exposure. This year, however, DragonCon managed to entice me into attending despite no panel being held this year by inviting not one but FOUR guests I was dying to meet: Will Friedle, James Marsters, Charlie Cox, and Gillian Anderson. I mean, wow. Seriously, those are four titans of the sci-fi/fantasy television world and you’re damn right I drove five and a half hours to come see them. But I digress.

I entered into the Walk of Fame–the enormous ballroom where all the celebrities had tables for autograph signings–right as it opened at 10am, and I expected to wander past the tables to see prices for the four people I wanted to meet. Well, I was definitely on the right track, because I turned the corner and found myself staring Charlie Cox dead in the face. That’s right. Out of sheer dumb luck, the star of Netflix’s Daredevil was at his autograph table right when the WOF opened, and he only had about 14 people in his line. Let me be clear: I had actually only thought about getting his autograph, but I heard earlier that it was $60, which is A LOT for someone who isn’t even in my personal Top 10 TV Actors list (he’s probably more in the 15-30 range, to be honest), but the sheer coincidence that I happened upon him right when his line was low made me jump my happy self in line and proceed to fangirl myself silly at the prospect of meeting Daredevil himself.

So how was it?

Oh dear God. There are no words. Charlie Cox is an absolute peach.

There was an adorable older woman in front of me who apparently knew him prior, and their conversation was so cute that it put a huge smile on my face. She gave him a comic book that she liked and they chit-chatted before he gave her a hug and she left. Then it was my turn to meet him, and holy mother of God, if you think Charlie Cox is charming and handsome as Matt Murdock, you don’t know what it feels like to have him smiling at you from literally a foot away. It was damn near blinding.

However, I managed to calm myself and express that I wasn’t actually initially interested in Daredevil when it premiered and then I heard how everyone said it was so good and I was a bit skeptical, but I accidentally ended up watching “Cut Man” before the actual pilot and I was hooked the second it was over, mainly due to the incredible chemistry between Cox and Rosario Dawson. Charlie Cox was delighted to hear this, and he told me that “Cut Man” is actually his favorite episode from season one, which was a huge feather in my cap since I love that episode to death. He signed my photo and told me that he loved my name–I had him sign it to Kyo, short for Kyoko–and I joked about the lady before me getting a hug, and he grinned and said, “Come here!” and gave me a hug before I left. I was pretty much floating on air on the way to the next table to check for times.

charlie-coxs-autograph-dragoncon-2016

If you think that’s nuts, guess what? It ain’t over yet.

My second trip in the WOF was to Will Friedle’s table to do the same as I intended when I stumbled across Charlie Cox’s table: to check his autograph times and prices. Well, not only were those there, but Will freakin’ Friedle himself was also at his table right when I wandered past, and he’s not just in my Top 10 Favorite TV Actors List–the man is seriously Number Two, second only to Kevin Conroy, whom I met in 2013.

So basically I looked like this before scurrying into his line of 20 or so people:

will-smith-scream

The backstory behind why I was internally screaming over Will Friedle is because I have been in love with his character from Batman Beyond, Terry McGinnis, since I was ten years old. Yes, I’m one of those nerds who actually saw the premiere of Batman Beyond live as a kid, and it stuck with me all these years. I mean, I never ever expected to like Terry as much as Bruce, but through some stellar writing and one incredible voice acting performance from Mr. Friedle, I never stopped crushing on him. I went on to continue following Friedle’s career from Kim Possible to The Secret Saturdays and when I saw his name on the roster for the con, that was the very second I bought my ticket. Meeting him is on my Bucket List and so it was more than just a moment of fangirling, but a lifelong desire to say thank you to him for portraying a character who honestly has been a part of my mental healing process.

Waiting in line for him was torture because the way the tables are set up is that the stars are against a wall and the lines wind to the side of the table rather than in front of it so that the people behind you can walk through the ballroom unhindered. So I was treated to hearing Will’s voice behind me while I waited and I had to fan myself with Charlie Cox’s autograph to keep from flipping the hell out in pure excitement.

It took a lot of effort, but when I came up to him, I didn’t scream and faint. He greeted me and I did the same and I told him that it was on my Bucket List to meet him because Terry has meant so much to me over the years thanks to his voicework for him, and I also told him about meeting Kevin Conroy in 2013, which delighted him. He agreed with me about Conroy being just the sweetest guy ever and he signed my comic book with “I am Batman” and I joked that Conroy had done the same, and he laughed and told me that when they attend autograph signings together, they pretend-fight over who is actually Batman on the fans’ autographs. I also told him that Batman Beyond has been a huge comfort to me when dealing with my social anxiety and depression, and he told me that he completely understands since he’s dealt with anxiety as well. He gave me a hug and then sent me on my way, once again squealing like a crazy person inside.

will-friedles-autograph-dragoncon-2016

Later that evening, we took a photo op together and that Friday solidified itself as one of the best days of my entire life. Dream made. Life made.

me-and-will-friedle-dragoncon-2016

Now, are you ready for this?

Because Saturday went even better.

On Saturday, my bestie and I got up early again and headed over to the con, this time with our sights on the utterly delicious James Marsters. She had actually met him a few years prior while in line with a friend of hers, so she sent me along to see him by myself, and it just so happens that he was at his table when I went past, so I jumped in line.

Now, keep in mind, Saturday was when I was in my Agent Peggy Carter cosplay that I had carefully put together over a couple months’ worth of organization. People were genuinely thrilled by it and I took quite a few pictures prior to getting in line with Marsters. I’m actually pretty happy with how it turned out, to be honest.

peggy-carter-selfie

So after several minutes of mentally preparing myself to meet Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden aka Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, what should happen?

Well, let me first preface this story by saying it is 100% true. I know I write fiction for a living, but everything I am about to tell you actually happened and I am not making this up, I swear.

The first words out of James f@#king Marsters beautiful mouth when he saw me was, “You look fabulous!”

Me:

Bedazzled sensitive Elliot sunset

I in no way was expecting that compliment. Holy crap. It almost bowled me right over. I had to mentally jumpstart my brain into the speech I had prepared because I have never had a ridiculously attractive famous person compliment me (not to my face, mind you, because Chris Evans’ backrub totally counts but that was non-verbal). Once I was done screaming inside, I told him how I actually found him via the Dresden Files audiobooks rather than Buffy the Vampire Slayer because I’m such an enormous fan of the books and my friend Maggie lent me her audio file of Blood Rites for a road trip once and I utterly fell in love with Marsters’ voicework as Harry Dresden. He thanked me and told me that the reason he’s so enthusiastic when he does those readings is that he used to be on the road a lot visiting his son and he hated it when he listened to audiobooks that were dry and boring as hell, so he made sure to inject as much life into his audiobooks as possible. He also asked me who I was cosplaying as, as did his assistant next to him, and I told him it was Peggy Carter, and then I had him record a video for my other best friend who couldn’t join us for the con. Once that was over, I floated on Cloud Nine away from the table and went about the rest of the day with my ego Over 9000.

Then, later that afternoon, came time for the photo op with Mr. Marsters.

Once again, I would like to stress the fact that this actually happened and I am not making it up.

Here’s a bit of backstory, though: Photo ops are actually lightning fast. The stars are usually taking photos with upwards of a hundred hardcore fans, and so if you ever want to meet a celebrity, I always recommend an autograph because it allows you time to chit-chat with them, whereas a photo op is about 5 seconds long. Don’t get me wrong–to this day, I still adore my photo op with Chris Evans and I don’t regret not one second of it, as well as my decision to forgo the extra autograph because if I tried to say actual words to him, I’d have just wasted $200 gross sobbing at him instead of talking. However, the upside of photo ops is the bragging rights that you met a famous person that you really admire and have physical proof forever more that you were there, next to them, soaking in all the awesomeness they naturally emit. Or, in Chris Evans’ case, soaking in all that goddamn gorgeousness. But again, I digress.

When it was my turn to go up to Mr. Marsters, his whole face lit up and he goes, “It’s you!” Flattered as hell, I giggled and went over to him and asked if we could do a hug for a photo.

Him: Oh, my wife said I’m not allowed to hug pretty girls anymore.

Me:

will-smith-fanboy-face

So, instead, we did an arm around each other, which turned out magnificent, honestly.

me-and-james-marsters

After the photographer took the photo, what does this luscious man of fame and fortune turn to me and say, staring me straight in the eyes with his arm still around me?

“You’re gorgeous.”

Me:

yoda-freaking-out

I’m pretty sure I died and this is my poltergeist writing this long ass post.

“But Kyo,” you say, smoking your pipe. “Are you telling me that driving 5 1/2 hours, spending possibly $400, and dealing with an overcrowded, poorly run con is all worth it because Harry Dresden called you fabulous, pretty, and gorgeous?”

The reason I made this post isn’t just to brag about meeting famous people, though. What I’m trying to say, in general, is that con life may be expensive and hectic and it may seem bizarre to an outsider, but the end results can be some of the most iconic, memorable moments of a lifetime. I fully admit that it’s possible James Marsters reacted that way to every last girl he met at the con, but you know what? He sold that s#@t. That’s some acting for yo’ ass, because I totally believed it, and it was by far one of the greatest moments of my entire life. It’s more than cheap flattery. It’s the fact that for the rest of my life, I get to think back to meeting my book boyfriend in person and he said I was gorgeous. You can’t ever take that away from me. That is my memory to cherish, and even if it took an insane amount of money, there was no guarantee that it would have happened otherwise. I got an unforgettable experience thanks to this con and that’s why many of us nerds make the trek every year. Every experience is unique. There’s no telling what will happen when we meet our idols, but sometimes you get situations like mine where it exceeded my expectations a thousand times over. I never would have anticipated a reaction from the guy who spent almost ten years of his life making out with super hot actresses on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. To me, it was especially wonderful considering the fact that in real life, men totally ignore me. I don’t get asked out. I barely even get compliments from them, so for someone I truly admire and have a crush on to compliment me–genuine or otherwise, but I honestly think he meant it–boosted my confidence to unreal levels for an entire day. That’s something you can’t buy in a store. That’s something worth all the money in the world to me.

I guess what I am trying to say is that please don’t think congoers are insane human beings. Most of us work hard and hustle day in and day out, and so when we finally get to a place where we can spend money on something we truly desire, and it’s a con, it’s definitely worth all the trouble. I fully admit that I have a weird streak in me about meeting famous people, but it comes from my own set of personal problems. It is very hard for me to make friends. The average person that meets me thinks I’m weird, and as I mentioned before, I don’t date much because men apparently find me somewhat underwhelming. To me, meeting my heroes is life-affirming because it gives me stories to tell. Exciting, fun, colorful stories that I wouldn’t have otherwise aside from my fiction. The adventures of my fictional protagonists are many, but my own personal adventures are few and far between, and that’s mainly why I have chosen con life. It’s a chance to bring laughs and joy when I get to talk about these surprisingly down to earth famous folk who make it all worth it. That, if nothing else, is why I do what I do.

Let’s just say that con life ain’t for the faint of heart.

 

Hindsight is 20/20: My Third Year in Self-Publishing

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : July 20, 2016
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Category: Author Events, Inspiration

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Holy crap, guys, it’s been three years since I published The Black Parade.

Liz Lemon gets booed

“What it’s like being a self-published author?”
Dean from the Iron Giant screaming Art

Yeah. Dean’s got the right idea. I think if I could sum up the experiences I’ve had over the past year, since the last post, it’d be with the above image.

If you know any writers, personally or just through social media, most of us tell you the same thing if you ask us that question. Guys…being an author is hard. Like, really. I know it’s not as hard as being a heart surgeon or an astronaut, but people underestimate the fact that it’s literally–and I mean that, not in the overused Sterling Archer sort of way–hundreds of hours of our lives spent pouring our heart and soul into a book and then sending it out into the world, praying that it’s not a tiny garbage fire to be extinguished by the masses.

I suppose the funniest thing about being a self-pub author in my third year is that it simultaneously got easier and harder after I hit year three. That sounds nonsensical, but it’s kind of true.

For instance, the part that got easier is knowing where to search for help. Need advice about where to advertise? KBoards. Need help with research? Google yourself to death and then call someone who is smarter than you and ask them weird questions (in this case, I called an MIT post doc to grill her about her research project. It was as bizarre as it sounds, but she was more than willing to help and super sweet about it.) Need to find art for your upcoming cover? Stock photos. Need advice on how to not be a total piece of crap writer? Chuck Wendig. After three years, I have so many bookmarks saved to point me in the right direction when I get stuck.

On the other hand, the part that got harder is venturing out to try something new. I finished the Black Parade series (for now; there will be other additions to the canon next year, if things go well) and it took every bit of my will power to get it done and make sure it was the right way to end my debut series. It was by far the hardest thing I ever learned to do on my own.

Until this new novel came along.

Truth be told, Of Cinder and Bone is kicking my ass. Thoroughly. If any of you follow me on Twitter, you know I’ve been gnashing my teeth over it for months now, even though I started out super eager to begin a whole new series. Working on it is like pulling teeth. It’s exhausting and scary and awful and I’ve been faced with constant self-doubt as I am venturing into a totally different genre this time, away from my comfort zone of angels and demons and sarcastic loners with trust issues. Science fiction is a whole new animal, and it’s honestly trying to maul me.

But that’s probably a good thing. All writers need to evolve. Some of us can find our niche and stay there, but often authors are called away from their comfy spot to try something new because we bleed words and the words always dictate our actions. The story is bursting out of our chest like a horrible scene from Alien and no matter how much it hurts, we have to obey it.

To that end, here are a few things I’ve learned over the past year.

-To quote a catchy little song from the wonderful Zootopia, try everything. It might be cheesy and sung by an artist I honestly can’t stand, but the song really does ring true with what you should do as an author, especially a newbie. “I won’t give up, no, I won’t give in ’til I reach the end and then I’ll start again; No, I won’t leave, I wanna try everything, I wanna try even though I could fail.” Do that. Is something terrifying and you don’t want to fail at it? Try it anyway. Do your best and push through the failure, because you will fail at things, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still give up on potential opportunities for growth. Do things that scare you. Do things that you would’ve sworn a year ago that you’d never be able to do, and then bask in the glow of being brave enough to try it, regardless of how it turns out. People give up on their dreams a lot in life, and you have to plant your feet and do your best if you want to be an author and share your stories with the world.

–Explore not only your own genre that you write in, but those that are similar, because you can stumble across diamonds in the rough, both the books themselves and the authors. When I was preparing for my panel at Geek Girl Con, I took recommendations for books with people of color in SFF, and I actually found one I really dig even though it’s in a genre I don’t usually read often. I actually love sci-fi and I have since I was a kid, but I’m a very visual person. I tend to like sci-fi shows and movies instead of novels, but I found Earthrise by M.C.A Hogarth and I really enjoyed the hell out of her series. Then I bumped into her on Twitter and I’ve never been happier chatting with her on occasion because she’s hilarious and interesting. It’s hard to find time to read when you’re an author, but it can be very rewarding to branch out and mingle with others who have similar tastes and mindsets. You can even eventually build friendships or mutually beneficial arrangements as a result.

–Allow yourself to be terrible. So I hit a low point about a week ago when I was about 89,000+ words into Of Cinder and Bone. I couldn’t finish Chapter 14 because I felt all this crushing self-doubt and my inner perfectionist was so convinced that my book was the worst thing ever committed to the pages and no one’s going to like it because it’s so atypical of the genre and I froze up every time I opened my Word document to write more. I started looking for a pep talk and of course found this fantastic article by the legendary Chuck Wendig that got me out of my rut.

Writing sucks. It’s the worst. It’s basically you sticking a huge needle into your chest and pumping your blood out onto endless pieces of paper. You’re exposing yourself, and not in a gross way. When you write, you’re putting yourself out there, and so every single author (no matter what they tell you) gets scared and thinks they’re going to be utterly rejected and thinks about quitting. I think I read that Neil freaking Gaiman did that with one of his most beloved books; he tried to 86 the whole thing because he was sure it wasn’t going to work, but then he got a big reality check from the experience and pushed through it. It’s incredibly harrowing to finish the writing process because it’s totally possible that your first draft is crap. However, another great quote I read once is that you can edit a bad story to be better, but you can’t edit a blank page. Allow yourself to write poorly at first. Just get the words down and then worry about making it better after it’s done. It’s easier said than done, but you still have to do it. Don’t give up if you really truly care about your book and know that it’s the story you’re dying to tell. You can always fix a broken story, but you have to finish it before you can save it.

Or, as Chuck Wendig puts it:

Chuck Wendig Secret to Writing

–Meet people. This sounds like a no-brainer, but a lot of authors are introverts like I am. A couple years ago, I’d have laughed snottily if you told me I’d be a panelist at a couple different conventions and that I’d cosplay as Lana Kane from Archer in full view of the nerd population. I’d have called you delusional. But I did that. I was on a few different panels where I was able to meet some incredibly talented people, and I’m really glad I did it. It’s not just for exposure, either. Nothing renews the fire in my soul than meeting other authors and sharing experiences in this crazy thing we call a career. You can pull yourself out of a rut by mingling with people from all walks of life and just talking to them about anything. You’ll often find something in common even if it seems like you’re total opposites. Whenever possible, get out of your own way and be with other people who are enjoyable to be around. You never know what can come from it. Life is often full of bad surprises, so that’s why it’s great when a good one comes along.

–Share your experiences, even if you feel like you have nothing to offer and no one cares. I’m guilty of this flaw a lot. I feel like I don’t know anything at all. I’m just a tiny awkward turtleduck floating on the pond. I feel like I shouldn’t give anyone advice because I’m floundering around and don’t know what the hell I’m doing. But here’s the big secret: all writers are like that. You could flag down Stephen King right now and turn the mic off and he’d probably be like, “Dude, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’m just as clueless as you are.” All writers think we’re phonies, even super acclaimed bad asses like Stephen King or Neil Gaiman or Toni Morrison.  We feel unqualified to teach people things, but you never know that the seemingly pointless anecdote can spark something in someone that helps them on their journey. It’s why I always keep my Inbox open to new authors. If you ever have a question, I will try my damnedest to answer it for you, and I try to tell people the best advice I can when they ask for help. Hell, that’s the only reason I write these yearly blog posts about my experiences. If even one droplet of advice is helpful, then my purpose on this planet has been fulfilled.

–Dumb luck has a lot more to do with this career than you think. I hate saying this, but it’s true. No matter how many books you read about how to be the best author and the best book marketer, no matter how hard you work to make your book look like the best thing since sliced bread and Nutella, sometimes it all boils down to luck. There is no set way to make your book a bestseller. At all. It’s the same as how sometimes Hollywood pours millions of dollars into a project and it bombs, even though they had one of those “surefire” formulas to make a hit. Sometimes it’s just zippity-doo-da dumbass random luck. You could have a runaway hit or your book can sink to the bottom of the slush pile right out of the gate, and it’s no fault of your own. That’s where the “Try Everything” lyrics really become important. Luck won’t always be on your side. That’s unfair as hell, but one of the biggest obstacles for every last author is getting back up after a juicy, painful faceplant into the asphalt. Sometimes the stars align and everything goes perfectly, and sometimes the clouds part and it’s Jesus taking a piss right on your head. Them’s the breaks, man.

…sorry about that last mental image there, my duckies.

For all the good times and the bad times, I’ve definitely learned a ton over these three years as a published author. I hope most of all that I’ve at least been entertaining as I flail around searching for the way to go. I’ve got a lot of adventures ahead of me, and I can only hope you guys still want to come along for the ride. Thank you for sticking around, readers.

Jon Huertas You are my ROCK

To that end, don’t forget that in celebration of my third year anniversary, The Holy Dark (Book #4) will be FREE to download via Amazon Friday, July 22, 2016 and Saturday, July 23, 2016. Spread the word.

See you next time, true believers.

Farewell, Castle

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : May 16, 2016
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Category: Inspiration

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Castle-promo-season-3-castle-26647897-768-1024

“Nothing goes as planned

Everything will break

People say goodbye in their own special way

All that you rely on

And all that you can fake

Will leave you in the morning

And find you in the day

Oh, you’re in my veins

And I cannot get you out

Oh, you’re all I taste at night inside of my mouth

Oh, you run away ‘cause I am not what you thought

Oh, you’re in my veins and I cannot get you out.”

Truer words have never been spoken, in regards to what is arguably my all-time favorite television show. I knew this day would come, but I never fathomed that this would be the way I feel now that it’s here.

In case you missed it, ABC’s Castle, starring Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic, was officially canceled and is airing its series finale episode tonight at 10pm. Unfortunately, this is definitely the most bittersweet goodbye I’ve ever had with a show. (But it could be worse. At least this is bittersweet. Sleepy Hollow’s goodbye was like getting fisted by the Hulk wearing a glove made of salt-encrusted broken glass. I’m not exaggerating. Look what happened and tell me it’s not that bad.)

Anyone who knows me knows I am the most die-hard, foam-at-the-mouth fan of Castle, or at least I was until season eight began. Until about season seven, Castle reigned as one of the best written shows I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching. It was not only funny but insightful, creative, dramatic, and just plain fun to watch. I remember seeing the pilot on my mother’s birthday all the way back in 2009, and part of me just recalls smiling to myself and thinking, “This is going to be the start of something amazing.”

Castle stars Stana Katic and Nathan Fillion. Also, massive amounts of sexual tension.

And it was. For all the rancor that I’ve felt for the eighth season of the show, no one can do what Castle can do. It was one of the only shows on a major network to say ‘screw the Moonlighting curse’ and it found a way to tease at a romantic relationship for four seasons without making it intolerable. It found a way to write a main female lead so that she wasn’t a snob or a bitch or a Mary Sue or anything less than a phenomenal character. It found a way to use Nathan Fillion’s charming good looks and playful nature but then put it against a backdrop of an immature but caring man growing up as he realizes that working with the foxy Beckett was more than just an excuse to woo a fine lady, but a path to make him a better man than he ever thought possible. One of the greatest experiences of the show is to see where Castle and Beckett start off in the pilot and then watching them grow. They just blossom into these two immensely interesting people who you can’t wait to spend time with every Monday night. They are fascinating. Not only that, but even after six seasons, you still found yourself surprised by them and wanting to know more and more with every episode. You’re never bored with Caskett. They can entertain you on so many levels, and not just by being charming and kick ass.

For instance, Castle is the only television show to date that got me to cry—and I mean, cry. As in huge globs of tears and snot pouring down my face and sobbing brokenly. Yes. I did that. The Queen of Mean Kyoko M actually cried like a baby during the season three finale of Castle, “Knockout,” during its final two scenes. It takes a lot of investment to get me to cry, and they did it. I was a wreck. Do you know how important it is to me to have anything that can draw that level of emotion out of me?

To be honest, Castle changed me. It gave me a greater appreciation for the craft of writing in so many ways. It taught me that it really is important to build a relationship, romantic or otherwise, to the point where your audience will never leave their side. It taught me to add layers onto your characters not only for their own good, but for your own good as a writer. It challenged us to stand by Beckett’s bullheaded actions regarding her mother’s case, or to ponder if there is a line between revenge and justice, and if Castle was ready to commit to the biggest thing that ever walked into his life. It’s just an outstanding example of a ton of people coming together and working hard on a project to make it as excellent as humanly possible, and for a long time, Castle certainly pulled it off. I always refer people to it when I want to give an example of how to introduce a dynamic partnership without making it corny or without having the issue like the Winchesters on Supernatural where it becomes clear that the writers favor one partner over the other. It’s completely even handed the way that they characterize Castle and Beckett, and especially in the romantic sense. Sure, there were times where I wanted them to hook up, but you could always tell that they just weren’t ready in the first three seasons. They needed time and perspective, and while it was frustrating, it never felt like it was some kind of manufactured conflict just to keep the ratings going. Castle and Beckett’s hookup is legendary. To this day, many people cite it in the Best Kiss for a TV show lists, and for good reason.

I mean, tell me you can watch this scene and not get your jimmies rustled. It’s flawless. Just flawless.

The truth is…I don’t know how to say goodbye to Castle because this isn’t really a true goodbye for me. A year ago, I’d have been crushed. I’d have ranted and raved about what a poor decision the studio execs made. Sadly, I can’t do that, because season eight has been so terrible that I stopped watching the show over a month ago because it’s not my show anymore. It’s a beautiful car being driven by a drunken asshole teenager, so I quit and just let it keep recording on the DVR out of respect for what it once was. However, I will do them the honor of watching the final episode because I owe them that much.

And the other truth is that even though it won’t have new episodes, but Castle’s not going out of my life. I will still keep my DVDs, I will still watch the reruns in syndication, and I will still refer anyone who ever asks for a great show to it (and tell them to stop at season seven) without any malice. It’s clear the television is on a downward slope with making garbage calls, from renewing the lackluster Agents of SHIELD to imploding Sleepy Hollow to canceling the phenomenal Agent Carter. TV is on a bad track these days, and I think keeping an eye on Netflix is where the future is headed.

I will never forget the thousands of laughs and smiles Castle gave me. I will never forget the tears and the clutch-your-couch-cushions-and-squeal action sequences and theories about 3XK or how Castle got into writing mystery novels (mostly because the canon reason was weak-sauce). I will never forget the adorable relationships between the main cast, and between their fictional counterparts. I will never forget the strength, poise, sheer will, and majesty of Detective Kate Beckett. I will never forget the kindness, charisma, heart, and levity of Richard Castle. No matter how much it hurts to say goodbye, no matter how much it hurt me to see it end on a rotten season, no matter how angry I am that they let Stana Katic and Tamala Jones go before canceling the show, no matter how unsatisfying the series finale is, no one can take away the fun I’ve had these past seven years.

Thank you.

Thank you for changing my life, Castle.

Thank you for being a friend and a comfort and a shining example of excellence for so many years.

You will be deeply, sorely missed.

I guess the only thing left to say is something you said so very, very well during arguably the best episode in your entire run.

Goodbye, old friend.

You’re in my heart.

Always.

 

Year in Review: 2015

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : January 2, 2016
0

Category: Author Events, Inspiration

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Kyoko M, summed up in one image.

Yep, that’s my year, basically. Me, deliriously happy and trying to cling to my dream.

2015 has been a year of drastic change for me, as cliche as it sounds. I know people say that a lot during these yearly recap posts, but for once, it’s based on fact. I’ve been afforded opportunities in 2015 that I never imagined were possible, and in some ways, it still hasn’t sunk in that I’ve managed to achieve some pretty big goals.

Formally, my 2015 New Years Resolutions went as follows:

  1. Reread and write reviews for The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher
  2. Finish writing and publish my upcoming YA high fantasy novel
  3. Publish The Holy Dark as well as a box set for The Black Parade series
  4. Sell 500 paid copies of my books
  5. Try to get to 500 Facebook likes
  6. Read at least ten novels

See what I mean about change? I only accomplished three of three, and only one of them I couldn’t pull off due to my own shortcomings (sorry, Harry Dresden, I got kind of busy…and lazy…) because my situations all changed. The YA high fantasy novel I had intended to finish and publish in 2016 has been shelved because I had a beta reader read it and she found so many complex, deep-settled issues in the unfinished manuscript that I decided it wouldn’t be ready in time for summer 2016. Instead, I’ve decided to shelve it for a year and then come back to see if I can more clearly identify what went wrong and how to dig out all the problems. I didn’t get to 500 Facebook likes, but that’s because I didn’t run any ads or push for it hard enough over the course of the year. We’re clocked in at 469 likes, and since my page activity is pretty much in single digits, I’m not even going to add it as a goal for 2016.

“So,” you ask. “What has changed for you in 2015, Kyo?”

Well, for one, my work started to take off. Most indie authors describe the discovery process as a boulder that you push and push and push uphill like Sisyphus until at long last, you reach the top and it starts to roll downhill. It starts at a slight incline, slowly, and then hopefully gathers speed and momentum until it’s rolling. 2015, for me, was my first incline. Thanks to the Secret Worlds boxed set and curious readers who grabbed The Black Parade as a permafree title, I’ve begun to see sell-through on the series. I wish I could give you an actual number, but Amazon for some reason refuses to put together a comprehensive Excel spreadsheet of both copies sold and money made for the whole year. Instead, it’s broken down by the month, and then by the title itself, and then by 35%/70% royalty, so it would take me at least a couple of hours to read every single spreadsheet and total it up with any sort of accuracy. Instead, I’ll try and go by monthly sales.

My bestseller of the year is estimated to be She Who Fights Monsters. The Holy Dark is right behind it in terms of sales, and it’s actually ahead of it in KU pages read. I typically sold between 35 and 50 copies of SWFM per month, and 30 to 45 copies of The Holy Dark per month after its launch in late April. The Black Parade came in third place since I took it off of its free status during the summer and fall months, so it probably sold 15 to 30 copies as a paid title, and 100 to 200 copies as a free title. My poor short story collection The Deadly Seven is straggling in last place with 20 to 26 copies. (Apparently, I love it more than the readers do. *sob sob*)

I’ve got a Bachelors in English Literature, so forgive me if my math is janky, but here’s a rough estimate of books sold in 2015, according to those rough numbers:

She Who Fights Monsters: 35 x 12 =420 minimum or 50 x 12 = 600 copies sold

The Holy Dark: 30 x 8 (it was published in April, so 12 months minus 4 months = 8 months) = 240 minimum or 45 x 8 = 360 copies sold

The Black Parade: 15 x 7 (it was removed from permafree May 1st, so 12 months minus 5 months = 7 months) = 105 minimum or 30 x 7 = 210 free copies sold; 100 x 5 = 500 minimum or 200 x 5 =1000 free copies sold

The Deadly Seven: 20 x 12 = 240 copies minimum or 312 copies sold

Summary:

The Black Parade: 105/210 copies and 500/1000 free copies sold in 2015

The Deadly Seven: 240/312 copies sold in 2015

She Who Fights Monsters: 420/600 copies sold in 2015

The Holy Dark: 240/360 copies sold in 2015

Total copies of The Black Parade series sold in 2015: 1005/1482

Man, this is why I’m a writer. Math is horrible.

My point beyond all that is that these numbers were not even a bare possibility in 2014. I’ve seen a tremendous up-rise in interest from readers. I’ve also found that I can dig deep and do something that I’d consider completely out of character for myself, like cosplaying as Lana Kane at Atlanta’s second largest convention, and hosting a panel at a convention on the total opposite side of the country. I’ve seen that even if it sounds ludicrous on paper and in my head, apparently I am capable of way more than I give myself credit for sometimes. And that’s a wonderful thing in and of itself.

2015 started off very difficult for me, but as I continued putting in the work and doing the best I could, I finally started to see desired results. That is all that I hope to continue to do for 2016. I want my boulder to keep rolling and gathering momentum. Thanks for tagging along for the ride. I am beyond grateful for all of you who have been there with me. Here’s hoping for a good year for all of us.

Hindsight is 20/20: My Second Year in Self Publishing

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : July 22, 2015
4

Category: Inspiration, Things X Taught Me About Writing

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Me and my novel

“What’s it like to be a self-published author?”

 

Dr. Cox headdesk

 

A little dramatic, but hey, it’s accurate. This is my second year as a self-published author, and as insane as it sounds, I’ve actually put in twice the work than I did my first year.

To keep with tradition, here’s a rough estimation of my stats from BookTrackr.com:

Copies Sold: 2232

Free Copies Sold: 13994

Reviews: 125

Money Earned Since 1st Publication Date: 2727.53

A marketed improvement from last year, no doubt. However, the same thing can be repeated as my first retrospective blog post from last year. Being a self-published author is a slog. It’s a long, arduous journey of walking across a burning desert dragging our books along behind you like Will Smith in Independence Day. And yes, you will occasionally yell at them, stop, and kick them a few times while insisting you could have been at a barbeque.

Very few authors have it made, and the ones who do will still tell you that this is an extremely difficult career path to navigate. However, having tried and failed at several thousand things, I can happily provide a few lessons that I’ve learned over the past year.

-No matter what happens, some authors will always insist that you have to “choose a side” between self-publishing and traditional publishing. You can’t escape it. People seem happiest when they can label something and identify an enemy, and so the best thing to do is straddle the fence. Neither side is “right” or “wrong.” They’re simply different entities. Your life will be infinitely easier if you don’t draw a line in the sand. If you feel strongly enough to do so, sure, go ahead, but don’t be a bully and don’t be unprofessional about it. You can burn bridges you didn’t even know were there if you do.

-Amazon is always going to do whatever it wants to do. We as authors don’t have control over it because we don’t own it, and we certainly shouldn’t feel entitled to certain kinds of treatment or making calls that aren’t ours to make. There are other platforms from which to sell books, and if Amazon makes you unhappy, pursue them, or switch to traditional publishing. You can waste a lifetime complaining on forums about how you dislike their policies and it will change nothing.

-If your work permits it, joining other authors in a boxed set can help get you into the hands of readers that you might not have had access to otherwise. As long as you are treated professionally and aren’t operating at a loss, give it a shot. I’ve been in two of them so far, and it’s done wonders for my discoverability. There is no perfect boxed set, though, and sometimes they promise you goals that are unrealistic or unattainable, but it’s still a rewarding experience and fantastic exposure. Plus, meeting other authors and collaborating with them is almost always a great idea.

-If you’re into fandom-related activities like comic/anime cons, try reaching out to the organizers. All they can do is say no, and that’s the worst case scenario. You might be able to stumble across an opportunity to promote your work and discover a new audience as well as meeting like-minded people for a few days of fun.

-The permafree model is still a good way to go if you are 100% new at publishing and have no following. It opens up doors and gets you the most basic level of readers, the freebie seekers. However, the next step that you’re looking for is people who are mildly interested in your work. This tier is very desirable because unlike the freebie seekers, they will shell out cash for your work, but you have to be very patient as some of them can lash out if they dislike your book and it can take a long time for you to gather reviews. If you reach this tier within your second year of publication, make sure that your work is as high quality as you can make it and make sure that you have multiple works. The permafree model really only works if you have a series, not a standalone or two-book series.

-If you find yourself starting to consistently spend money on editing, marketing, promotions, and other expenses, keep track of them for the sake of your taxes. Unfortunately, royalties are not taxed in the US with Amazon, so when Tax Day comes, you owe the government a fat check and if you’re a low income earner like me, it evaporates your refund. Seriously. I got $77 back from the IRS this April. It’s that awful.

-If you’re writing a series, particularly in science fiction or fantasy, write yourself little notes of characters, plot threads, or premises that could be good spin offs in the future. I wrote a four book series because I feel that this is the length of Jordan’s journey as a character, but the supporting cast does have the potential to be explored as well. Don’t get too focused on just one thing. Most successful authors have a couple of novellas, short stories or short story collections, or anthologies that help line their pockets after they’ve created their own fanbase. Always keep a backlog of ideas for future works in case you conclude one series. Keeping momentum is extremely important.

-The key to staying afloat is consistency. One book a year is the standard, and that’s for traditional publishing. For self-published authors, especially debut authors, it’s actually 1-3 books a year for maximum saturation and exposure. A lot of people hate the long waits between books (seriously, I am so impatient for the release of Peace Talks that I cannot stop writing Dresden Files fanfics) and if you have multiple works drop per year, you can accumulate more readers in a fraction of the time.

-Stay connected to your fans however you can. Social media is taxing, but I’ve had a lot of new readers reach out through Twitter and Facebook to say they enjoyed my work. Say thank you every single time. Doesn’t matter if it’s just a short little post. Do it. Thank every last reader you get and make sure you leave a good impression with them, because while social media marketing and online promotion are powerful, Word of Mouth is still the best way to get readers. It’s the hardest to accomplish, but by far the most successful way to increase your readers. Be gracious and accept fair criticism when it’s given.

-If you have the budget, try creative outlets like having commissions done of your characters or alternative book covers. Fans respond to pictures way faster than text posts, in my experience, and new images from the series are far more likely to get shared than anything else.

-If you start getting negative reviews, only skim them for relevant issues. If it’s just a rant about how much you suck, don’t even read it. Keep on scrolling and don’t get angry. We’ve had too many authors get in needless dust ups with reviewers this year. Don’t respond. Ever. Unless you’re Brock Baker, you are not allowed to mock your critics. You’re an author. Write well and write often and that’s all you can do, no matter how much it bothers you to get nasty reviews. (And yes, one and two star reviews are ALWAYS going to bother you, bestselling author or not.)

-If possible, submit guest blogs/articles to writing sites and other subjects you’re interested in. This year, I had a big success with my article about Natasha Romanoff and feminism on Black Girl Nerds, and while it didn’t immediately reflect in sales, it got me a lot of buzz and some new followers on Twitter from my key demographic of readers. Social media is NOT about selling books; it’s about connecting with other people. Eventually, some of them might give your work a try, and that’s the important thing. Be genuinely interested in something and be entertaining and intelligent, and often, they’ll come to you.

If anything, my second year in self-publishing has taught me that the best thing you can do is expand your mind and understand that there isn’t one path to growing your readership. There are hundreds, and while you may not instantly rocket to success on your first or second try, you can slowly start to push that boulder closer to the top of the hill. And, if you’re lucky, you have a couple good people helping you push, or you can give advice to the people on the hill next to you doing the same thing.

Here’s to another year and another climb up that hill. Thanks to everyone who has stuck by me and enjoyed my work. I look forward to bringing you more of it soon.

Kyoko

New Year’s Resolutions 2015

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : January 5, 2015
1

Category: Inspiration

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2014-12-26-2015-graphic-610x330

For the record, I almost never make New Year’s Resolutions. I think it’s a bit of a tired practice and pretty much are only done by people who don’t intend to see them through in the first place. However, I was delighted to see that I actually managed to reach the goals I set for myself last year, which were the following:

  1. Make a name for myself as a self published author.
  2. Get my cat Tyger back from my brother’s place (he was staying there after I had to move again.) He’s adorable and evil, just look at him:

    Pictured: the demon of famine and pestilence.

    Pictured: the demon of famine and pestilence.

  3. Read more than five novels.
  4. Finish the last novel in the Black Parade series.

So I feel kind of confident about making some new goals for 2015 (and praying to God or Satan or Cthulhu that I catch a frickin’ break in the employment department finally) so here they are:

  1. Reread and write reviews for The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher
  2. Finish writing and publish my upcoming YA high fantasy novel
  3. Publish The Holy Dark as well as a box set for The Black Parade series
  4. Sell 500 paid copies of my books
  5. Try to get to 500 Facebook likes
  6. Read at least ten novels

See? Sounds kind of doable. Nothing unreasonable up there. Fingers crossed for me, my darlings!

Happy New Year to you all! I hope things are going well for you so far and I look forward to spending even more time with you in 2015. Stay tuned for upcoming release dates for The Holy Dark. Don’t forget you can still read excerpts for the book at the end of She Who Fights Monsters or on my blog.

Year in Review: 2014

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : December 31, 2014
0

Category: Inspiration

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2014-graphic

Whew. It’s been some year, hasn’t it?

My friends and I had our annual end-of-the-year chat last night via Skype and one of them asked me how I felt about 2014 as a whole. I told him 2014 seems to be a year of extremes. It seems as if every good thing that’s happened has been counteracted by something horrible. I met my favorite author, Jim Butcher, but I had to quit my day job. I got a new car, but I also got a car payment. I’ve sold a lot of books, but I’m still unemployed. I bought some awesome new outfits, but I also gained a few pounds so now I’ve started the grueling process of exercising. It’s been a give-and-take from day one this year.

I think the most important thing about 2014 is the amount of knowledge I’ve now crammed into my head in just twelve months’ time. The things I know about writing, editing, marketing, and publishing would have served me extremely well this time last year, but there’s nothing to be done about it now.

I estimate I had only sold about 45-50 copies of The Black Parade in December of 2013 and now we’ve got 7,500 copies circulating on readers’ shelves. This year, I was able to launch The Deadly Seven, my short story collection, as well as the sequel to my first novel, She Who Fights Monsters. BookTrackr estimates I’ve got 5,600 copies of The Deadly Seven and She Who Fights Monsters out there. I also was lucky enough to be included in the Paranormal 13 box set with 13 other insanely talented authors. The set is free across all platforms, and last time I checked, we were well over 100,000 sales, so there are also a lot of people who will (hopefully) eventually see my work as they read through the set.

I consider my greatest accomplishment of the year to be simply getting my name out there. Yes, I am still a small fry, but I’ve actually met a handful of successful authors and I’ve gotten a couple of fans, which is incredibly humbling.  Last year, I was pretty much lying in a puddle of my own pity depressed about not selling, and now I understand that there is more to selling novels than throwing your work out there and expecting to be recognized. Readers have too many choices out. It doesn’t mean that my books are masterpieces or total garbage. It just means they haven’t found me yet. 2014 has proven that there is indeed a market for my particular type of storytelling, and nothing is more encouraging than knowing someone hears my voice and likes it.

I think it’s important for young upcoming authors to know that they aren’t alone and that the percentage of authors who are instant successes is far smaller than you think. Sadly, the mass media perpetuates the myth that there are millions of them and you’re a big fat loser for not selling, but that’s not true. There are some who hit the jackpot, but most authors take years to generate a following and start actually making money. It’s discouraging to know, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible if it just takes a long time.

I would say the lesson I’ve learned for 2014 is that you can only go up from rock bottom. My life still isn’t where I’d like it to be, especially since I just turned 26 (aka the age where you’re supposed to have your shit together, according to society), but this year has proven that I can meet my goals if I just keep my eyes fixed on the horizon and keep swimming. Dry land’s out there somewhere. There’s nothing left to do but sink or swim.

I hope 2014 has been good to you, dear readers. We’ve suffered some serious losses, but the important thing is we dust ourselves off and keep going. May 2015 be a better year to us all.

Happy New Year from yours truly,

Kyoko

Why Bother? The Two Deadliest Words to a Self-Published Author

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : October 9, 2014
1

Category: Inspiration

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You said it, Daria.

You said it, Daria.

Y’know what sucks? Being unemployed and your books not selling at the same time.

It’s not just the lack of money, either. I’ve been unemployed before back when my second retail job went under thanks to rent issues in 2012. The funny thing is, the first month is kind of a like a honeymoon period. You wake up when you want to, do what you want to, don’t do what you don’t want to, and feel this general sense of relaxation since you don’t have a set schedule as you don’t have to go to work anymore. You sleep pretty well and you have the free time to do practically anything.

Then it wears off.

Then the stress starts.

Okay, so it’s not like you thought getting hired for your dream job was going to be easy. It’s going to take time. You throw yourself into your writing while you’re praying to God (and sacrificing a goat just in case Satan’s listening) someone hires you. After all, your sales have been pretty consistent for the past few months and you’re slowly building readers, right?

Kevin Spacey WRONG

Out of the blue, September hits you with the biggest sales flat-line since you started self-publishing. I’m talking you don’t even make it into double digit sales per week. You close out your September sales with less money than you made in literally four hours at your previous day job. And October is looking to be the exact same way.

No big deal. Deep breath. You can totally handle it. It’s not like you became an author to get rich. It’s probably easier and more lucrative to sell crack than be a self-published author, after all. You’re in this because you love writing and you love stories and you want to share the reading/writing experience with your fellow man. That’s easy enough. It’s what the Internet is for—connecting people together across vast distances.

Except you kind of suck at it.

Twitter? Not that many followers. You get maybe a handful of replies per week. Maybe you should redirect your energy.

Tumblr? Oh, don’t talk about your book. No one cares unless it’s a natural recommendation from a book nerd. Just write occasional fanfics and reblog handsome celebrities and social justice speeches. Anything else and you get unfollowed en masse.

Facebook? Only a tenth of the people who liked your page see your posts, and even less than that like your posts? Right. Uh, keep trying. Maybe it’ll get better.

Then you’re lying in bed for a while, watching television because it’s a fantastic distraction from the horrible current state of your life, your manuscript untouched for days, and then a quiet little voice whispers in your ear the scariest words to any self-published author:

“Why bother?”

“What?” you sputter back indignantly.

“Why bother?” the voice continues. “What’s the point of putting yourself through this misery? You’ve been writing your whole life with nothing to show for it but a couple fans and a pocketful of change. You can’t make friends. You can’t get through to readers. You can’t even make enough money to get your own place by yourself. Just give up. You gave it your best shot. You’d make twice the money if you just settled for a job like your old day job. You’re never going to be the female Richard Castle. You’re never going to be a bestselling author of any sort. Better to figure that out now than before you use up all your savings and die in a gutter somewhere.”

“That’s pretty melodramatic,” you scoff.

“But it’s not far from the truth. Aren’t you tired of this? Aren’t you tired of being a nobody? Of putting yourself out there and almost never getting anything out of it?”

“I have gotten stuff out of it!” you argue. “I’ve met people! Not a lot of them, but enough. And I’ve met some really cool people who think my work is great.”

“Yes, and I’m sure you can pay your student loan bills with reviews,” the voice muses.

You hesitate. This a-hole has a point. Maybe you’re just being stubborn, chasing this dream of yours. Maybe it’s time you grew up and did what thousands of people do every day—shelve the dream in order to make a living. After all, you can’t get what you want. Who reads your work is beyond your control. You can’t hold a gun to your readers’ heads and order them to buy your books. You can’t threaten Bookbub into accepting your book. You can’t convince bloggers to review and spread word of your book on your own. Maybe it is time to throw in the towel. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe your work isn’t that good. Maybe it never will be. You have too many bills to pay. Time to get real.

But then you think about Stephen King’s On Writing. You think about how that man spent the better part of thirty years trying to get his feet beneath him, facing hundreds of rejections day in and day out. Sure, you’re nowhere near as good, but he’s fantastic and even he had to wade through the long stretch of no one knowing who he was or caring about the work he poured his sweat, blood, and liquor into.

“No one cared who I was until I put on the mask,” Bane said in The Dark Knight Rises. The fictional villain had a point. Nobody cares who you are. They won’t care until you’ve made it to the Big Time. Right now, it feels like you’ll never make it, but you’ll definitely never make if you give up. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll never be anything more than an underground author with a tiny fanbase of less than 100 people.

But guess what?

There is one goal you’re still meeting. You’re sharing your story with others, even if it’s not as many of them as you’d like. People are reading your work. People have made the choice to sit down one afternoon with your characters when they could be reading Stephen King or James Patterson or Suzanne Collins or J.K. Rowling. They said yes to you when they said no to so many others. For better or worse, they stuck with you, even if they end up disliking the book, even if they don’t want to move on through your series.

And that is why you still bother.

“Screw you!” you say cheerfully to the voice. “Maybe I’ll always struggle and not be where I want to be, but at least I met my original goal and not even you can take that away from me.”

The voice grumbles and shuffles off to that dark place in the back of your head, kicking over trash cans along the way. You turn off the television—well, after that Castle marathon on TNT ends—and crack your knuckles and open your Word document and get back to work.

You are a poor self-published vagrant and you’ve got work to do.

So keep doing it, against all odds, even those your own doubts and fears present.

Turning the Corner on Diversity in TV

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : September 23, 2014
0

Category: Inspiration, Uncategorized

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He's a 250-year-old gentleman.

He’s a 250-year-old gentleman. Aw.

With all the turmoil going on in this country, there just might be a light at the end of the tunnel, particularly for women of color.

Sleepy Hollow’s second season hit the airwaves September 22, 2014, and as I watched the premiere and read the hilariously overexcited fans’ reactions on Tumblr, I came to the realization that women of color just might be in luck in the future. While ‘Sleepy Hollow’ isn’t as popular as some other shows in similar genres, and while it isn’t particularly a very good show, it still has a solid foothold on viewers. Could we in fact be on the verge of introducing more women of color into main lead roles on network television?

I’m not going to give it all the credit, but I do think ‘Scandal’ might have been the spark that started what could be a fire for more diversity in television. Olivia Pope (played by the gorgeous and whip-smart Kerry Washington) started out getting the black community frothing at the mouth for more political thrills and sexual intrigue, but then as the seasons progressed, we began to see more than just black people watching. ‘Scandal’ is one of the highest rated shows on ABC, which previously had been a very lukewarm channel with little to no exceptional shows aside from ‘Castle’ (but then again, I am biased). Then it was syndicated with BET (big surprise there) and has been consistently putting butts in chairs Thursday nights. While the idea of sex scandals in politics is nothing new, it was the first time in quite a while that America was seeing an intelligent, driven, mostly independent black woman in a main role of leadership. Sure, we’ve had plenty of black women on network TV in the past few years, but they’ve always been in supporting roles, never the lead unless it was some trashy reality show involving housewives.

‘Sleepy Hollow’ and ‘Scandal’ are nothing alike, and that is what makes a bit excited if this is indeed a trend. We have two completely different characters in two completely different genres that are growing in popularity and are sticking around. Further proof of the potential trend is Viola Davis’ upcoming lawyer-thriller, ‘How to Get Away with Murder.’ Again, not busting open anything we’ve never seen before, but Viola Davis is one hell of an actress and she’s more than welcome on our plasma screens.

Nerdy black girls like me are also nothing new. We’ve been around forever, but this is the first time in my lifetime, as far as I know, that we have popular shows on popular networks with intelligent black female protagonists. This could be big. This could be the break we’ve been needing, as the past few years have seen more black ghetto baby mamas and divas in reality TV than you can shake a curling iron at. While some would say it’s just harmless entertainment—after all, the term is reality show, which is still scripted in some parts—I have always been frustrated with the lack of women of color in television that are portrayed as more than just those two stereotypes. I’ve been dying for women like the female cast of ‘Living Single’ or Nichelle Nichols or Phylicia Rashad to take the reins and show people that black women are just as interesting and worthwhile as their white counterparts, and that women of color in general need more spotlight.

It’s not just about one particular skin color, either. I am dying for ‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D’ to come back for season two, not because of Agent Coulson (though God-knows I love that unassuming adorable man), but because of seeing Agent Melinda May (Ming-Na Wen) back in action. I truly hope that we as a country continue to hunger for things we haven’t seen and push the old broken mainstays aside to make room for creativity. I would love for this generation of young girls to be able to write school papers on great women of color in fiction instead of just watching ‘Frozen’ a thousand times and mistaking that for “strong female characters.”

Here’s hoping.

-Kyoko

Hindsight is 20/20: My First Year in Self-Publishing

Posted by :letitia.carelock@gmail.com On : August 2, 2014
7

Category: Inspiration

Tags:, , , , , , , ,

Homer Simpson on Publishing

You said it, Homer.

“What’s it like to be a self-published author?”

Boy, that’s a loaded question if I ever saw one. Someone on KBoards asked a similar question, “What was your first year of publication like?” and I answered with the following .gif:

Whiny Kuzco

I’d say that’s probably the most accurate account for most self-published authors who went into the publishing and writing industry as blindly as I did. They say that life is a rat race. Self-publishing is a rat race where every wrong turn means you get electrocuted and when you do find a scrap of cheese, you have to fight all the other rats in a switch blade match to the death. Okay, maybe not that bad, but close enough.

I suppose most of these types of posts always begin with the author bragging about the number of books they’ve sold. I can’t really do that. There’s not much to brag about. I’m not making it rain on hookers and blow. I’ve only actually been making a profit off my work since April, and even then, it’s only been enough to buy me dinner every once in a while. But for the sake of advice, let me give you some estimated numbers via BookTrackr for all three of my books, which includes two novels and a short story collection.

Copies Sold: 653

Free Copies Sold: 4,978

Reviews: 58

Books Borrowed/Lent: 25

Money Earned Since 1st Publication Date: $383

See? Nothing to brag about here. I hate seeing blog posts where the author goes on and on about the thousands of readers they have and all the money they’ve made like it’s the most boring, regular thing in the world. Millionaire bestselling Richard Castle-esque authors are NOT the norm. Most of us struggle and struggle hard with getting anywhere within a year of publication. But that’s not what the mass media wants to tell you. That’s not what Writer’s Digest wants to tell you. That’s not what millions of authors on Twitter want to tell you. They want you to believe we’re all J.K. Rowling and it’s easy as pie to poop out a bestselling series and walk on water with your fancy hair blowing in the wind because you are an author in the modern world.

 

 

I’ve had to claw and scratch for literally every single copy I’ve sold of any of my three books. I’ve invested what a very unimpressed H&R Block accountant estimated to be nearly $800 in creating, writing, marketing, and advertising my novels, all for a paltry $383, some of which has yet to be paid to me since Amazon only pays you at the end of every month.  I’ve asked every available source I could get for help, and I’m still failing to make sales and gain readers. This is the ugly, seedy part of the business that no one wants to talk about because it sucks. Being a self-published author sucks. Don’t let anyone convince you of otherwise. You are a lone wolf, zipping through the forest trying to find your next meal because them rabbit suckers are fast and you have more than enough competition. Actually, now that I think about it, self-publishing is basically the equivalent of being Wile E. Coyote.

That being said, it’s also pretty great sometimes.

For example, one of the things they don’t tell you is that it actually doesn’t take a hell of a lot to be able to use the title “Amazon Bestselling Author.” If you choose your category carefully, market to just the right people, and get a little support on your various social media, you can actually make it to the Top 100 Amazon in only a couple hundred free sales. It’s a permanent status bump. You can advertise it on anything you wish. Make a coffee mug. Rent a giant billboard and plaster it on there. Run out into the streets and spin your arms like Maria and shout it to random strangers until the cops come. I fully admit that I have a couple dozen screenshots of my books in the Top 10 Amazon Bestselling Novel categories because it is one of those rewards that has nothing to do with money and is just for me. Because, for me, it’s not about that. It’s about something that I care deeply about being put into the hands of readers. That’s my only goal. I want to connect with people.

If you’ve read this far into the blog post, you can gather that I’m pretty awkward. I don’t know how to talk to people or explain things without using nerdy references or weird comparisons. But the one thing I can do—the one thing I was put on this earth to do correctly—is write stories. Even though this career path sucks, I am still doing what I love every day: telling stories. Sure, not everyone cares, and not everyone will like my stories, but I am still moving inch by crawling inch towards that end goal of being discovered by the many readers of the world. I squealed like a little girl when I saw that a handful of people in the UK have bought my books.  I still bounce up and down on my bed when I get the very rare kind, detailed review. I take a shameful selfie with the paperback copies of my novel when they finally arrive, fresh off the printing press. I dollop copious amounts of affection on anyone kind enough to talk to me on Twitter about anything even vaguely related to writing.

Overall, I’d have to say self-publishing is the best worst thing I’ve ever done.

And so, with that in mind, here’s what I’ve learned so far:

-Don’t bother with Facebook ads. They are a money pit and a waste of time.

-KBoards is the kingdom of heaven in terms of advice on self-published marketing.

-Social media is a time-suck and should be used sparingly.

-Goodreads is a great place to meet readers and help build, organize, and grow your own library as well as helping you slip into other people’s libraries.

-Bookbub is just as much a gatekeeper as literary agents in the traditional publishing world.

-There is no answer to the “self-publishing vs. traditional publishing” debate. We’re in this together. Don’t fight. Just discuss your differences and try not to step on each other’s toes.

-Amazon is awesome, but it’s like a giant Great Dane in a field of puppies. Snuggle up against it for warmth, but make sure you have an evacuation plan in case it goes rogue.

-Go with your instincts, but also realize that you’re going to be wrong a lot. Listen to other people who know more than you, and obey whenever possible if you think they’re right. Chances are, it’ll help you more than you will ever know.

-Always be gracious to anyone who takes the time out to speak to you, offer perspective, or shows interest in your work. Word may spread and benefit you in the future.

-Blog tours are useful for SEO links to your book, and not much else.

-Mailing lists apparently only work if you are Jesus.

-Book covers are hard to find and expensive to get, but the right ones are worth their weight in gold.

-Editing is the Britta of the writing process, but you have to deal with it anyway.

-Readers are fickle and unpredictable and there is nothing you can do about it. You can write shit or a masterpiece and they will never agree as to which one your book actually is.

-Your extended family is never going to care about your work like you do. They can’t, unless they are writers themselves. Don’t be offended. Just accept it and move on.

-Chuck Wendig was right. It takes as long as it takes to make it. Don’t compare your lack of success to other authors’ success, even though it’s tempting.

-Write your butt off. And then keep writing.

I leave you with the ever-inspiring words of Yoko Kanno. Here’s to another year of self-publishing. I’m going to make it if it kills me. Just gotta knock a little harder next time.

-Kyoko M.