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The Dresden Files Reread and Review: Dead Beat

Well.

Look at that.

I almost took as long a hiatus as Jim Butcher did completing Peace Talks.

*rimshot*

Get used to that joke, folks, I’m a bitter old crone.

In light of being stuck indoors for a while due to COVID 19, and in light of the recent explosion of news now that Jim Butcher finally completed Peace Talks and it’s being released July 2020 with Book 17 Battle Ground releasing in September 2020, I’ve decided to pick back up on my R & R. We left off a few years ago on Book Seven, Dead Beat. As always, spoilers for both this book and future books abound. You have been warned.

Just as an aside before we start, I have a bone to pick with Jim Butcher, his camp, and the fandom over Dead Beat. Some years ago, someone started saying that any new readers interested in the Dresden Files should start at Dead Beat and skip the first six books.

That’s the dumbest, wrongest, most irresponsible “advice” I’ve ever heard.

If you’ve read my recaps, you’ve seen the utter bombs that have dropped in the series prior to this book. I violently disagree with anyone who has ever told new readers to start at Dead Beat. I will fight Jim Butcher himself over it. Don’t you dare tell someone new to franchise to skip the first six books.

Wanna know why? Let me give you just a taste of the incredibly important things/people that happen either for character reasons or for plot reasons that have consequences or payoff that continues through the rest of the season:

  • Harry’s mother, Margaret
  • Harry’s father, Malcolm
  • Murphy’s father, Colin
  • Ebenezar McCoy
  • The White Court
  • The White Council and the Senior Council
  • Thomas’ connection to Harry
  • The Denarians
  • The Summer and Winter Courts
  • The Summer and Winter Mothers
  • Lea, Harry’s godmother
  • Jared Kincaid
  • The Archive
  • Susan Rodriguez and the Red Court war
  • Mortimer Lindquist
  • He Who Walks Behind
  • Mac and his bar
  • The Knights of the Cross
  • The archangels
  • Waldo Butters

And that’s just a fraction.

A literal fraction.

So I just want to put my two cents in here and say that while Dead Beat is considered a game changer for the books and one of the first big turning points, do not ever tell someone to start in the middle of the goddamn Dresden Files. It’s reckless and it’s going to make them miss out on so much rich story and so many vital character interactions as well as just some plain great novels. Stop it. Stop it now.

Anyway.

I’m a little funny about Dead Beat, personally. To tell you the truth, I don’t remember it very much because I am shipper trash and this is the book with no Murphy in it. I tend not to pay as much attention to the Murphy-less Dresden Files novels because that’s my favorite dynamic. But to be fair, this is still a good novel and the next one coming up, Proven Guilty, is chockful of awesome Harry/Murphy content, so let me get over myself and dive into the madness once again.

We open Dead Beat with a case of sibling rivalry. In case you’ve forgotten by now, Thomas, Harry’s older brother, has basically been cut off and booted out of the White Court mansion—now headed by his older sister, Lara Raith, who is behind the scenes controlling their father, Lord Raith—and is broke due to spending the last of his fortune to pay off Jared Kincaid for the job Harry hired him for in Blood Rites. Thus, the two Le Fey boys are living together in Harry’s tiny basement apartment and it’s not exactly the easiest thing to deal with. Aside from Susan, Harry’s only ever lived alone with a cat, and later, his dog, Mouse, whom he decided to keep. They’ve been living together close to a year, and Thomas is an incubus sex vampire, so poor Harry is having to deal with beautiful women randomly appearing at his place and wrecking it up on a regular basis since that’s how Thomas feeds himself. You can understand that it makes him exasperated.

Plus, there’s the bonus of these women mistaking Harry for gay.

Which…I’m so sorry, that’s one of the funniest damn things in this whole book.

The problem is that Harry and Thomas don’t actually look alike and they can’t tell people they’re related because it’s very dangerous for their enemies to know that, so the two of them hanging out constantly makes people jump to the wrong conclusion.

This will be important later.

Also, hilarious.

Which brings me to my next excellent bit.

After Thomas returns from the shower once the girl leaves, he reveals that he absolutely ships the hell out of Harry and Murphy.

This is also important.

Harry: [Murphy] said she’d be dropping by.

Thomas: Oh, yeah? No offense, Harry, but I’m doubting it was a booty call.

Harry: Would you stop it with that already?

Thomas: I’m telling you, you should just ask her out and get it over with. She’d say yes.

Harry: It isn’t like that.

Thomas: Yeah, okay.

Harry: It isn’t. We work together. We’re friends. That’s all.

Thomas: Right.

Harry: I am not interested in dating Murphy. And she’s not interested in me.

Thomas: Sure, sure. I hear you. *rolls eyes* Which is why you want the place looking nice. So your business friend won’t mind staying around for a little bit.

Thomas gets it.

Seriously, Harry, you had an entire epiphany in Mavra’s lair that you were jealous of Kincaid taking off Murphy’s pants, and yet you’re going to pretend she’s still just your friend? Thomas smelled that lie almost immediately and I love it.

However, while this is quite amusing, Thomas is having a rough time because incubi can’t exactly hold down regular jobs. Thomas is constantly being jumped by other employees and passerby’s, so he’s frustrated and angry once Harry starts to needle him about his control and bails. It is tough to think about what he’s going through, honestly, and it’s part of why I like Thomas so much as a character. White Court vampires typically don’t do what he does. Thomas only feeds on willing partners and only just enough to stay alive. Other vampires take who they want, when they want, and take until they kill their victims or enslave them to the pleasure. It’s got to be hell to fight those impulses when it’s literally what keeps Thomas alive and sane. But we’ll dive into that more later on.

Harry cleans up and takes Mouse for a walk and Murphy is waiting for him when he gets back.

And then Murphy drops a freaking atom bomb on us.

She’s going to Hawaii.

With freaking Jared Kincaid.

You know. The assassin.

The very not human assassin.

Jim Butcher:

Harry is very understandably angry, confused, worried, and jealous as hell. Murphy came over to leave her location and info to reach her hotel in an emergency as well as the key to her place to “water her plants” while she’s gone.

And here’s where things get interesting.

Murphy is asking Harry a question that unfortunately, poor stupid Harry isn’t aware of yet.

Murphy doesn’t need someone to water her damned plants. Does she need to drop off her location in case Kincaid does something shifty? Probably, yes, but she came over for two real reasons: (1) to have an excuse to ditch the trip if Harry was in the middle of a case that required her help (2) to see if Harry finally realized the romantic and sexual tension between them and would stop her from going by sharing his feelings with her.

This scene is infamous. It really grinds my gears, but in a good way. This is great writing because Harry is tragically a couple steps behind Murphy in this case. I love him to death, but Harry is VERY slow on the uptake emotionally speaking and he’s too far into his own denial and self-doubt to respond to Murphy’s unsaid question. However, the interesting part is that Harry senses something is off but he just CAN’T put his finger on it. He can feel her hesitance, but because he’s overly cautious, Murphy still leaves for the trip.

It’s so goddamn frustrating.

But it’s still good writing.

I really would have loved for Harry and Murphy to have had a conversation about their relationship at this point, but he’s not ready yet and the first time they talk about it in the next book is very interesting, so congrats to Butcher on being patient and pacing it out. It’s a really good internal conflict for Harry during this book because he’s out facing all kinds of dangers but he’s also thinking about how much he wants Murphy not to be with Kincaid because he’s jealous and worried because he cares about her a lot.

Mind you, the entire interaction ends with this bit from Harry’s inner monologue: I watched her go, feeling worried. And jealous. Really, really jealous. Holy crap. Was Thomas right after all?

Harry, you’re a fucking moron.

When Harry checks his mail, he gets a nasty surprise: a threatening letter from Mavra with photos of Murphy killing Renfields during the Black Court vampire raid from the previous year as well as a lock of Murphy’s hair. He’s to meet her that night at his grave in Graceland cemetery or she’ll release the photos, ruining Murphy’s career forever and most definitely landing her in jail.

He meets Mavra and is told to find the Word of Kemmler or she’ll have all the photos sent to the authorities, which means both the regular cops and the White Council. She gives him three days to get it, which coincidentally means his deadline lands on Halloween, his birthday. Ah, just another day in the life of Harry Dresden.

Harry heads home to get the skinny on the Word of Kemmler from Bob the Skull, an air spirit of knowledge he keeps in his basement. We find out Kemmler was a necromancer responsible for World War I and II, for crying out loud, so the guy was major bad news in his day. Bob has been owned by a number of people and things in the past and it so happens he was owned by Kemmler before Justin, Harry’s former master and abuser, owned him as well. Bob has purposely forgotten much of what happened with Kemmler since the guy was a walking nightmare. In order to get more knowledge, Harry taps into Bob’s memories but it goes very sideways as Bob becomes rather demonic when they talk, so Harry switches him back to normal.

The Word of Kemmler is his most awful, evil spells and if anyone gets their hands on it, then havoc and death will be everywhere, especially since some of his followers may still be alive. The magic needed to do a big bad thing would require sacrifices in advance, so Harry heads to see Waldo Butters at the morgue.

And here is one of the aforementioned turning points.

Butters gets one hell of a character upgrade in this book.

And it’s one of the most well-done, surprising aspects of the series.

Our delightful dork Butters is in the morgue practicing polka for Oktoberfest when Harry arrives. This will be important later. Don’t look at me like that, I mean it.

Butters has been studying Harry’s X-rays and recovery progress—if you recall, his left hand is burnt to hell—and lets Harry know his theory, which is that his body literally heals itself until an injury is gone, not just to the best it can do for functionality, which is why he thinks wizards live five or six times longer than the average person, which means there’s a good chance Harry will get the functionality back in his hand. This is a very cool, very heartfelt moment when Butters tells him. I love it. Their friendship is gold.

Butters notices something odd about a body and is about to look into it when a necromancer attacks the lab, using the poor dead security guard as a zombie enforcer. The lead Mook is named Grevane and he’s after Butters. They manage to escape and Butters insists that Harry tell him The Truth, to which Harry reluctantly agrees, since Harry learned his lesson from the last few times he didn’t want to tell someone The Truth and they got killed.

Harry gives Butters the abridged version of The Truth and explains that necromancers have to have a “beat” in order to control zombies, so any sound they can generate that’s repetitive keeps their will over the zombie. If it stops, the zombie just does whatever the hell it wants, so they have to formulate a plan to stop Grevane from getting to Butters as well as find the book. Harry got a look at the book Grevane had with him, so he takes Butters back to the apartment and leaves him with Mouse to investigate.

He stops at a bookstore and grabs a copy of the book that Grevane has and meets one of the bookstore’s employees, Sheila. This will be important later.

On his way out, he’s confronted by two previously unknown entities: Cowl and Kumori. They want the book as well, as Chicago only has two copies. Harry realizes he’s seen them in passing before at Bianca the Red Court Vampire’s place. They actually try to parlay with him to just destroy the book if he doesn’t want to hand it over, but Harry is the stubborn sort and doesn’t play ball. Cowl attacks and Harry just barely manages to survive it and Billy the werewolf and his pack show up to back Harry up. Cowl and Kumori retreat and Harry leaves with the pack as the cops approach.

They take him to Georgia’s parents’ place and Harry overhears Georgia and Billy having a very interesting conversation about him. In particular, about his burnt hand and some of his behavior, how he’s angrier than he has been before, and that when he flipped the car on top of Cowl, Billy smelled sulfur. I really like the tension in the scene as Harry has HUGE blindspots about himself—again, this will be VERY important later—and we as the readers forget that because we’re inside his head, we know his motivations, but others don’t. Georgia is asking Billy to consider stepping back if Harry asks them to because she knows Cowl is big bad business that they’re not ready for and she’s also asking him to consider if something is wrong with Harry since he’s also been very distant lately.

Harry tells them about the demon Lasciel and the coin. It’s a tough conversation considering that Harry has tried every spell he can find to try to separate himself from the demon and nothing has worked. Worse still, he’s doubting himself since he picked up the coin instead of Harry the second when Nicodemus tossed it, so he’s concerned about his subconscious desires as well. What’s really important here is the friendship between them as Harry tells them what’s going on and they agree to do what they can and that he thanks them graciously. It’s really such a grounded scene and it’s why I love Harry so much as a character. I especially love that Georgia points out that Harry is basically the supernatural dad of Chicago; he immediately takes anyone who needs help under his wing and puts their needs before his own, protecting them before protecting himself, which is why she was asking Billy to be willing to hang back. She didn’t want them to distract him considering the level of danger that he’s in, which is a great show of what good friends they are to him. It’s very touching.

Once the heat dies down, Billy and Georgia take Harry back for his car only to find it’s been bashed up with a baseball bat by someone clearly trying to send him a message. Billy and Georgia very kindly offer to get the Beetle towed and lend him their SUV so he can continue investigating since he’s on a deadline. Again, this is a really heartwarming moment, showing how much they care for him and trust him and I like it a lot.

Harry goes to see Mortimer Lindquist, a fake psychic but someone who does happen to have enough supernatural talent to be helpful sometimes. Harry wants Mort to ask the dead if they can help him locate the necromancers. He refuses at first, but then Harry tells him Murphy’s in trouble and Mort knew Murphy’s father, so he agrees to help. The ghosts are able to confirm there are six necromancers currently in Chicago.

Harry returns home and Thomas is home and Butters is asleep. Harry starts to read the book he acquired, but he falls asleep and is visited his father, Malcolm Dresden. It’s probably one of the best scenes in the book, if I’m being honest, as the affection and reverence that Harry has for his late father and vice versa is so palpable. I’ve said a million times that one of the reasons Jim Butcher is my favorite author is that he doesn’t skimp on the powerful emotional scenes with Harry and his loved ones, as well as just other characters in general. A lot of the times male authors want to make their hero really cool and don’t want to focus on things that matter to him on a personal level. Harry is and always has been someone who is deeply impacted by everything around him and he’s not afraid to show his emotions, good or bad. The whole interaction is just simple encouragement from his dad and it’s wonderful.

The next morning Harry and Thomas go for a run and Harry gives him an update on what’s going on as well as telling him about Murphy running off with Kincaid. I want to mention that Thomas is in mid-run when he finds out about Murphy and Kincaid and he full-on stops running for a few seconds.

Thomas @ Jim Butcher:

Thomas is all of us.

It is notable that by now, Harry has realized that Murphy wanted him to tell her not to go. However, he’s trying to rationalize it and say that he’s being reasonable by not going after her due to their friendship and professional relationship. Thomas takes a very good shot at him for it and it’s really good and tense because Thomas is frustrated that Harry doesn’t see that the two of them could have the real deal. Thomas is in love with Justine and he knows how good it can be, but he’s been denied that due to being a vampire. It’s comforting to see that Thomas isn’t pushing Harry to go after Murphy just to be a needling older brother or because he wants him to get laid. Thomas cares because he knows they can go the distance and be happy, which is more than he would ever be able to do being who he is.

This segways into Harry confronting Thomas about his hunger and what he’s dealing with. Thomas comes up with a clever way to make him understand: he challenges Harry to race him down the beach back to the car. Naturally, Thomas is a freaking vampire with vampire speed, so Harry has to use basically every last drop of his strength and agility to “win” the race, and is exhausted and is about to gulp down a whole bottle of cold water when Thomas knocks it out of his hand. And then Thomas quietly tells him that’s what it’s like for him every waking moment of his life. Harry finally understands why he’s been tense and frustrated lately and it’s a great bonding moment for the brothers.

Harry drops Thomas back off at the apartment and heads for the nearest use of dark magic on the map, which is at the Field Museum. The museum currently has the infamous Sue on display at the time, aka Sue the T-Rex skeleton. This will be important later. Turns out there’s been a murder, so Harry sneaks into the crime scene to snoop. He of course forgets that he’s like seven-feet-tall, so one of the S.I. cops who is on the scene, Rawlins, spots him mid-snoop. Rawlins is another character whom I have affection for in terms of being a reasonable authority figure and an ally to both Harry and Murphy. It amuses me greatly that he’s been busted down from detective on account of having a smart mouth and an attitude, since it explains a lot of why Murphy trusts him. His intuition and his knowledge that Harry works with Murphy and she trusts him allows Rawlins to feel comfortable enough to let Harry in on some details of the murder victim, Charles Bartleby. It also helps that Murphy’s father, Colin, saved Rawlin’s life a long time ago so he’s always had Murphy’s back.

On a hunch, Harry asks if Rawlins knows what happened at the morgue and he doesn’t, which means Grevane cleaned up the mess and no one knows Butters is missing nor that the security guard is dead. Harry decides to take Butters along to the morgue to see if what the necromancers want is still in the building. They head inside and take a look at the body Butters had been about to examine and it’s mutilated very badly.

While Harry waits for Butters to help with the autopsy, he overhears the two assistants to Bartlesby come in to ask about the body and his personal items. Harry recognizes that the male, Li, is a ghoul. He hustles to get Butters gone before they get in trouble, but the other corpse that got hit by a car Harry recognizes is a smuggler who works for John Marcone. Cue eyeroll.

In case you forgot—and it’s easy to because this character is so dull—John Marcone is Chicago’s mob boss. He has his fingers in pretty much every pie of organized crime and he’s very aware of the supernatural underbelly as well. He and Harry hate each other’s guts, but both are too dangerous to get the other one killed so they mostly just try to stay out of each other’s way.

They go back to Billy and Georgia’s to try to see what’s on the jump drive, but it’s just an empty file with a number that has sixteen digits. Harry checks his voicemails and he’s got a painfully frustrating check-in call from Murphy and then a call from Sheila, the cute bookstore girl, that something’s up. Harry has Billy take Butters back to the apartment while he continues snooping.

Harry heads to the bookstore and is hurt to learn that its owner, Bock, doesn’t want him around anymore since he’s pretty much got trouble on his heels at all times. Harry agrees and talks to Sheila, even landing himself a date with her later, but shortly after he runs into Li and Alicia, trying to find who bought the Erl King book. Alicia demonstrates some very scary dark mental magic and unfortunately the only way for Harry to break loose is to tap into some of the demonic power in his head. He tries to make a break for it, but gets injured and they take the book. He lucks out that Marcone’s bodyguard, Gard, saves him before Li can finish him off. He gets pulled into a car with Gard, Marcone, and Marcone’s other bodyguard Hendricks. Marcone cooperates, giving him a tip since it’s in his best interest that Chicago isn’t overrun by the undead and in retribution for one of his men being murdered.

Harry gets his injured leg fixed and talks to the tip Marcone gave him, which is an EMT who saw Kumori revive a dead guy the previous night.

After that, Harry heads home and Thomas warns him about Butters being too scared to be any use if they get cornered. It’s a really good conversation as Thomas isn’t saying it to be mean, he’s saying it out of concern for Harry dragging Butters around as literal deadweight. Harry sticks up for him in a unique way, which is telling Thomas that they won’t do him any favors if they tell him to run and keep running, as the fear will control him for good. He and Thomas talk through what he’s learned and Harry recounts what he read in Erlking, so to dig for more info, he decides to call up Lea, his absolutely batshit insane, dangerous, hyperviolent “godmother.” Lord help us all.

But to his surprise, when he tries to summon Lea, Mab, Queen of Air and Darkness as well as the Winter Court, also pants-shittingly terrifying, shows up instead, saying that Lea is imprisoned for challenging her authority. However, Mab is still bound by her loyalty to answer Harry’s questions, so Harry instead asks her about the Erlking. Mab tells him that the Erlking is basically the king of goblins and has control over dead hunters’ spirits, which is linked to why the necromancers want to get his attention, so to speak. Harry tries to dig for more but Mab won’t cough it up unless he becomes the Winter Knight. As right now, Mab has her current Knight, Lloyd Slate, imprisoned and tortured for “disappointing” her. Harry theorizes the necromancers want to raise the ancient spirits all at once and absorb their power, which would make them too powerful for pretty much anyone to stop.

And as Harry gets back to his apartment, he gets jumped by zombies.

Harry Dresden, you are bad for my heart, sir.

The wards that protect Harry’s apartment are meant to stop magical beings from entering, but it has a limit to just how much it can take. Once the bad guys throw enough zombies at it, the wards will fail and then it’s just getting through the steel door to bust inside. Butters understandably gets hysterical because the only plan they’ve got is to try to break for the car and leave.

What follows is one of the most notoriously awesome, heartwarming things in this series.

Harry: We’re not going to die!

Butters: We’re not?

Harry: No. And do you know why?

Butters: *shakes his head*

Harry: Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I’m too stubborn to die. And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die. Polka will never die! Say it!

Butters: Polka will never die?

Harry: Again!

Butters: P-p-polka will never die.

Harry: Louder!

Butters: Polka will never die!

Harry: We’re going to make it!

Butters: Polka will never die!

Thomas: I can’t believe I’m hearing this.

You’re fucking welcome. Everyone’s life has been enriched by witnessing this scene. Legit, if you shout this at a comic book convention or somewhere that a large number of geeks enter, someone will probably shout it back to you. It’s that famous a scene. For good damn reason.

Harry manages to negotiate with Grevane to get everyone out in exchange for the numbers they found on the flash drive. Corpsetaker crashes the party and Team Dresden manages to bail from the ensuing battle. They all head to Murphy’s place to get stitched up and rest.

Which leads to one of the other funniest goddamn jokes in the whole series.

Poor Butters thinks Harry is gay.

The best part? Thomas thinks it’s fucking hilarious. He then proceeds to enable Butters by being fake-nice to Harry while Butters is stitching him up and I can’t even start to tell you what a belly-laugh it gets out of me that Thomas not only thinks it’s funny, but he just makes it even worse for shits and giggles. It’s EXACTLY what an older brother would do and that’s why I crack up every time I read it. Harry and Thomas are arguably my favorite fictional siblings for this exact reason. Their relationship is so realistic.

Thomas pulls a fast one and gives Harry painkillers instead of antibiotics, which make our giant idiot sleepy and Thomas tucks him in. And Harry proceeds to stab us with more feels when Thomas puts him in Murphy’s bed: The last thing I thought, before I dropped off to sleep, was that the cover smelled faintly of soap and sunlight and strawberries. They smelled like Murphy.

Harry, you dope. You’ve got it so bad for Murphy it’s not even funny.   

When Harry sleeps, the demon in his head, Lasciel, finally manifests herself. Since Harry had no choice but to use the Hellfire to get out of a jam earlier, she now has permission to be in his head. She’s not the true demon, but an imprint of her, basically, since the real coin is under Harry’s basement under a lot of powerful magical wards. They have a brief conversation in which Lasciel offers Harry her almost endless knowledge and power and Harry tells her to shove it.

When he wakes, he gives Thomas and Butters the low down on his terrible plan, which is basically to call the White Council and get Wardens dispatched to Chicago to fight and then he’ll try to summon the Erlking at the same time as the necromancers, which means if he pulls it off first, then the necromancers can’t steal the Erlking’s power for their evil plan meanwhile Bob, Thomas, and Butters try to decode the numbers to figure out where the Word of Kemmler is so he can give it to Mavra to save Murphy’s life. The entire thing is basically suicide. Because of course it is.

Billy stops by Harry’s office to make sure he’s alright after hearing what happened at the shop and to warn him that people are very worried about his erratic behavior lately, which Harry brushes off due to all the shit he’s dealing with. This will be VERY important later.

Harry stops by Sheila’s apartment and has her recount the poems in the Erlking’s book so he can summon him because she has a photographic memory. Kumori stops by, but reveals that she just wants to talk, so they enact a ceasefire. She wants him to back off and he wants her to back off, but understandably, neither of them can do so. She does reveal that she and Cowl’s mission is to harness death magic to literally end death in general, making everyone immortal. Yeesh.

Harry heads to Mac’s bar to meet with the Wardens, which consist of Donald Morgan, Carlos Ramirez, Anastasia Luccio, and two newbies. Then Luccio goes and offers Harry his own grey cloak, to Harry’s shock. Then Harry finds out that the war with the Red Court has taken out twenty percent of the Wardens forces so far. It got worse as the Red Court chased them through Nevernever, the land of demons and other creatures, and then called to the Outsiders, which are malevolent beings that live outside of Harry’s resident dimension, reality, and universe. Still, knowing how the Wardens and the White Council operate, Harry wants no part of their ranks. For damn good reason, I might add. Morgan is a dickhead bully who followed Harry around for his entire probation period just waiting for a chance to cut his head off and even tried goading him into attacking him so he’d have an excuse to kill him once. Luccio manages to persuade him that they’ll support him and that she at the very least trusts him and it will shift the tide of opinions in the White Council away from him since he technically started the war (but to be fair, the Red Court just needed an excuse, they were planning it already). She makes him regional commander and reassigns Morgan so he won’t be hovering over Harry’s shoulder looking for a place to stick a knife and they start strategizing what to do.

After the meeting, Harry heads back to Murphy’s place. Thomas called his sister, Lara Raith, and implied that Harry—who knows that she is running the White Court and not her puppet father Lord Raith—might spill the beans unless he receives some sort of assistance. She got them some info about where they think the ceremony will take place. Harry sends Thomas out to drop off a message to the Wardens and preps to go trap the Erlking in a circle so the necromancers can’t summon him.

Harry calls up the Erlking and actually manages to hold him, but Cowl jumps him and the Erlking as well as the Wild Hunt are unleashed on Chicago. He and Kumori leave Harry alive out of respect, and out of the knowledge that the Erlking is just gonna come back later and off Harry. Butters and Mouse are thankfully safe inside the house, and it’s now that Harry realizes that Mouse is scary smart and in no way a regular dog, which is adorable. Unfortunately, though, Kumori stole Bob since Kemmler used to own Bob and Bob would probably know how to give them the instructions they need for the Darkhallow spell. Let the good times roll.

Harry and Butters leave, still trying to figure out the combination, and then we get possibly one of the biggest, nastiest bombs in the whole book dropped on us.

Sheila isn’t real.

She’s Lasciel projecting herself through Harry’s five senses to appear real to him, but she’s not physically there or anywhere but in his head.

Feel free to shit an absolute brick and then throw that brick at this bitch’s head.

I’ve not talked about this bit because I wanted to get to it in sequence with the book. This is one of the most intensely fucked up things that’s happened to Harry so far in the series. I mean, the level of cruelty and manipulation by Lasciel is staggering. She outright lied to his face to get him to comply with her “help” and then tries to pass it off as not that bad to him when he finally puts it together that it’s all in his head and that’s why his friends and Bock the bookstore owner have been worried he’s going nuts. He’s been talking to thin air, for God’s sake. Lasciel insists that she actually enjoyed playing the role since Harry didn’t know it was her, and Harry is a very sweet, charming man all on his own, for no reason other than that’s just how he is, even when he’s in danger. She hasn’t interacted with any people in probably a very long stretch of years, so in a way, she’s not all the way lying about enjoy Harry’s company when he didn’t know it was her the whole time.

But it’s so fucked up.

Lasciel is directly preying on Harry’s weaknesses. She knows he’s soft on women. She knows Murphy left him and he’s hurting and jealous and longing for her this whole time, worried about protecting her from Mavra, and feeling bad that he couldn’t act on his feelings before she left. Deep down, of course Harry wanted a friend and ally during this tough fight, and she’s the only girl around who is smart and pretty and interested in him for who he is, seemingly. What a bitch move. It’s a ‘cut out your heart with a spoon’ moment for me. I am so offended on Harry’s behalf that it’s not even funny. She played him like a fiddle and it’s so depressing and messed up that it’s tough to reread the scenes before Harry finds out Sheila’s not real.

The other piece that’s important as well is that Lasciel is self-serving. If Harry dies, she dies as well. She is still a real entity even if she’s just a copy of the real Lasciel that lives inside the coin in Harry’s basement. She really is trying to help him survive the ordeal so that she can survive as well.

However, Harry recognizes the slippery slope he’s on and asserts his will power until she’s out of his head temporarily and reassures Butters that now he’s aware that he’s been played with so badly. Poor guy. It’s also tough as hell on his friends to have faith in him when he’s literally been hallucinating without knowing it for the past couple of days, but it’s a testament to what good people Harry knows that they keep giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Harry and Butters manage to throw together a tracking spell and find the Word of Kemmler hidden in the skull of Sue the T-Rex at the museum. Grevane confronts Harry and we find out that his buddy that’s been with him the whole time is Cassius, a former Denarian who Harry went to fucking town on in Death Masks, and for good goddamn reason. Grevane leaves with the book and Cassius starts trying to get Harry to tell him where his Denarian coin is. With torture. It is very, very rough and I do not like it and I want to sue Jim Butcher for $300 million in emotional damages.

But luckily, just before Cassius is going to kill him, Butters and Mouse crash the party.

Butters does an admirable job of kicking ass Butters’ style and Mouse makes the final kill, but unfortunately, Cassius gets out his death curse before Mouse kills him. A Death Curse is something a wizard or sorcerer can use right before their final moment. It’s one of the strongest kinds of magic ever, since it’s involved with death, and you can’t avoid it or reverse it usually.

And Cassius’ death curse is “die alone.”

…yeah, I’m suing Jim Butcher for $500 million emotional damages now. Jerk.

Both fortunately and unfortunately, Cassius’ death curse is not immediate. It doesn’t kill Harry on the spot. Harry passes out and sees Id Harry and Lasciel in his subconscious, who have a coming to Jesus talk with the fact that he’s basically heading down an assisted suicide path with his solutions. He finally has no choice but to allow Lasciel to help since there’s not much he by himself and with his few allies can do to survive the night.

It is now, my friends, that we reach the most infamous scene in the entire Dresden Files series.

Harry fucking Dresden riding a zombie dinosaur down Michigan Avenue.

Mm-hmm.

Read that again. Drink it in, people.

My idiot wizard boyfriend has outdone himself.

Since he’s read the Word of Kemmler, he reanimates Sue and has Butters use his polka suit to provide the beat as they haul ass to the site where the necromancers are trying to summon all the spirits.

And it turns out Sue’s pretty handy against an army of zombies. She eats Li. Good girl.

Harry takes Sue and Butters over to the Wardens and gets them caught up and ready for the final assault just as the spell starts to rev up. Corpsetaker attacks Luccio, switching their bodies and minds in the attack and Harry just barely manages to realize it in time. He shoots Luccio’s body and kills Corpsetaker.

And of course, Donald fuckin’ Morgan sees this, thinks Harry’s a traitor, and tries to execute him.

Harry is already too shaken by what he did and is about to let it happen, but Luccio revives in Corpsetaker’s switched body and makes him stand down. I know that Donald Morgan has reasons and motivations and a backstory that we will find out later in the series, but honestly, from the bottom of my black heart, fuck Donald Morgan. I hate him so much. He is everything wrong with the White Council and everything wrong with soldiers in general all rolled into one despicable man. I loathe him even though I’ve read the books and I understand that he is a three-dimensional character. Still. Fuck him.

The Wardens except for Harry and Ramirez are too injured to help, so they press on, leaving Butters to be safe with them, and take Sue out towards the Darkhallow. Ramirez turns out to be an absolute hoot and gets along with Harry, trusting his instincts and the actual good things people have had to say about Harry for once, and it’s a relief.

Ramirez kills Grevane, but Cowl and Kumori get the jump on him and knock him out, capturing Harry. Bob is facilitating the spell and Harry manages to get through to the real Bob, releasing him from the skull. Bob flies into the now loose Sue and comes to Harry’s rescue, and Harry is able to stop Cowl from absorbing the souls and completing the Darkhallow.

Go Team Dresden.

Harry wakes to get a nod of respect (and a warning) from the Erlking. He and the Wardens all get cleaned up and he gives Mavra the book, though not without threatening the shit out of her over Murphy and it makes me shipper heart sing. Nothing says, “I love you” like “if you touch her, I’m declaring war on you.” Oh, Harry. You’re such a romantic.

There’s also a lovely scene of Harry standing over his grave and his father visits again, giving him reassurance that while the death curse will indeed hit someday and while Harry had to do really fucked up things to survive this time around, it’s still his choice to be who he is in spite of the dark things surrounding him.

Things wrap up pretty good. Luccio is on leave to heal, so Morgan takes over for her in the meantime and actually admits that he was wrong about Harry for once (and I still don’t care and hate his guts) and Murphy comes home with her arm in a sling, implying that Hawaii had its own adventure for her (that I will never ever read even if Butcher does write it) and Butter gives Harry a guitar so he can start to rehabilitate his hand, ending the book on a sweet note.

So that was Dead Beat. Woof.

Dead Beat is definitely a rollercoaster ride. It’s one of the books that has very few downtime moments and it has momentum like a freight train. Harry is thoroughly trampled both physically and emotionally and so was I rereading the sheer amount of trauma he went through. For that reason, I have to say Dead Beat is kind of tough on the senses. I do admit that I miss some of the brighter spots and the downtime that Blood Rites or Summer Knight had in them. Overall, while it’s certainly not the darkest book, it is one with some of the darkest consequences and where Harry feels so overwhelmed and hopeless, which is a common theme since Butcher is a sadist. It’s a fantastic book, though, and I get why it gets a lot of buzz in the reading community.

Overall Grade: 4 out of 5 stars

Join me next time for another personal favorite of mine in the series, Proven Guilty.

Kyo out.

The Dresden Files Reread and Review: Death Masks

Conjure at your own risk.

Conjure at your own risk.

Welcome back to the Dresden Files Reread and Review! This time we’re taking a crack at Book Five, Death Masks with everyone’s favorite gangly smartass wizard Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. As always, major spoilers for this book, and minor spoilers for other parts of the series.

When we last left off, I was a bit annoyed about having to read another book with Harry Dresden’s lover, Susan Rodriguez, in it. However, keep in mind that I read these books incredibly fast the first time around, and so all I remembered was that she was in it and that was enough to make me grouchy. I’m actually happy to say that you won’t see me constantly complaining like I did in my review of Grave Peril, mostly because Susan is actually only in about 1/3rd of the story rather than the whole novel. Score one for me.

We begin Death Masks with another delightfully weird opening scene where poor Harry has been roped into appearing on the Larry Fowler show, which is a spoof of the Jerry Springer show. Yes, you read that right. Fowler asked Harry and Mortimer Linquist, whom you might remember from Grave Peril as the fake psychic, and the only reason our dear wizard has showed up is for the paycheck he rather desperately needs. It’s been mentioned before but wizards and technology do NOT go together. Harry can actually only be around things powered mechanically or by steam. Any items powered by electricity tend to explode in his presence, so he’s got a suppressing spell running while the cameras are rolling. To quote Harry, “I’ve been in house fires I liked better than this.” Gotta love ‘im.

Shortly after the segment starts, it turns out Fowler invited two surprise guests: Father Vincent and Dr. Paolo Ortega. Important thing of note? Ortega is a Red Court vampire, as in the vampires whom all want Harry dead as a doornail for allegedly starting a war between them and the White Council.

Understandably, Harry is freaked the hell out and Ortega tells him he’s in town to challenge Harry to a duel. The duel is actually to serve as a small scale ceasefire between the wizards and the Red Court vampires. Regardless of Harry winning or losing, the duel will mean that both sides stop killing each other. The only downside is that it’s a freaking duel and Ortega is a Duke of the Red Court, meaning he is no one to be trifled with. What’s worse is that Ortega insists that if Harry doesn’t agree to the duel, he’ll have his minions hunt down and murder all of Harry’s friends. Harry doesn’t take kindly to threats, so he demands that the duel’s rules be put in writing and agrees.

Father Vincent, the other guest of honor, is also interested in Harry in order to hire him for a job, but they are attacked in the parking lot by professional hitters. Harry manages to drive them off and takes Father Vincent to his hotel. Vincent explains that the Shroud of Turin—yes, that shroud—has been stolen and the Church wants Harry to track it down. The suspects in question are called the Churchmice, a few very elusive thieves who have taken the Shroud to Chicago to auction it off to the supernatural community there.

Harry returns home to his apartment only to find Susan waiting for him. (Cue eyeroll.) I’ve had a continuing personal investigation as to why I dislike Susan so much, and I’ve uncovered yet another clue. Every time Susan is in the vicinity, physically or if Harry is thinking about her, my lovely wizard’s brain turns off and his dick starts talking. I highly dislike it. Sure, it’s accurate because I’m sure that some men really do get this way around women they are in love (or lust, but that’s a long discussion for another day) with, but it’s a really jarring feeling for him to ditch all sense of himself whenever Susan’s around. Harry’s boner starts calling the shots when Susan is in the picture, and it’s not a side of him that I enjoy reading. Not his sexuality in general, but just how he can’t think about anything else when she’s around and he gets so jealous and bitter with her rather than with how he is with other women later in the series. This is probably a good example of how hard it is to be objective during a reread, though, so keep that in mind. I guess the bottom line is I don’t like how Harry’s behavior changes in the presence of Susan. I don’t think she’s good for him. I don’t think she makes him a better man, and to me, that’s what love should do to both parties involved: make them better, not worse.

My personal feelings aside, Susan is back in town in order to quit her job at the Arcane, to officially break up with Harry, and to warn him about Ortega’s duel. They are interrupted a bit later by a vampire named Martin, who is apparently Susan’s escort. The above comments I had about Harry’s jealousy comes into effect here. It really cheeses me how he gets when he sees this little creep, and while it’s totally naturally for people to get jealous if their former lover shows up with someone else, it bugs me that Harry gets so petty and irrational over some guy he knows nothing about. Take a chill pill, dude. Seriously.

Mercifully, my queen, Karrin Murphy, head of the Special Investigations police department, calls and asks Harry to come in and look at a corpse. It’s here that the introductions to series-long characters begins, and delightfully so with Waldo Butters, MD. Butters is an M.E. at the Cook County morgue, and while his part here is small, it still makes me smile anyway knowing the person he becomes later on in the series. Like Thomas, Butters caught me off-guard with how much I came to like him, but since his role is pretty small here, I’ll press on.

Butters shows Harry a corpse that has two highly unusual factors to it: (1) it’s been decapitated and has been shredded from neck to toe with deep horizontal lines that look to be inflicted by some kind of razor, and (2) its insides show signs of almost every single kind of disease known to man manifested at once. (It bears noting that after Harry sees the body, his first comment is, “Gee. Wonder what killed him.” I was at work when I read this line and just about fell over laughing. Goddammit, Harry.) Harry finds a tattoo that might help him identify the victim, and then promises Murphy to find out more information.

As he leaves, Harry is attacked by a freakish monster resembling a bear and flees, but he doesn’t get far, and what’s worse is he accidentally gets into a Soul Gaze with it. A Soul Gaze is something that happens if a wizard meets eyes with someone or something for too long, giving him a permanent picture of the makeup of a person’s soul and personality. Sometimes it’s a good thing, like when he saw Murphy’s soul as a beautiful powerful guardian angel. This thing, however, is a monster with a former human soul trapped inside, now laughing mad from sin and evil. Sounds fun, right?

Just before it can squish him, a Japanese man and a black Russian guy spring into action and drive the bear-demon Ursiel off of Harry, revealing that they are Knights of the Cross, just like Harry’s friend Michael Carpenter. The Japanese man, Shiro, and the Russian, Sanya, get it to back off and Michael shows up to deliver the final blow. They explain that Ursiel was one of the Fallen, as in a fallen angel from heaven that manifested in one of the thirty silver coins paid to Judas. (Sound familiar? Heh.) They take Harry to the St. Mary of the Angels Cathedral to rest and heal, and Michael asks Harry to leave town or quit his search for the Shroud because the Denarians, those who are possessed by the demonic coins, want to recruit Harry as one of them.

Harry heads home to read the written rules of his duel with Ortega and orders Bob the air spirit to go find information about Ortega so he can prepare accordingly. He then summons Ulsharavas, a spirit of knowledge, who tells him that the Shroud is on a small boat at the harbor. She also warns him that there is a prophecy if he seeks the Shroud, he will die. Well, that’s nothing new. It’s Harry, after all.

Harry’s mentor, Ebenezar McCoy, also calls and offers Harry a chance to hide out on his farm instead of participating in the duel, but Harry declines because he knows that while it sounds like a nice idea, the Red Court would find him and make hell for Ebenezar in the meantime. Bob returns badly worn out from wards around where he was investigating, and then Harry’s alarm spell goes off as something incredibly powerful approaches.

Turns out to be a little girl.

Yeah, I know.

The Archive shows up as the emissary for the duel, and we discover that she is the living embodiment of knowledge. The Archive is also escorted by a mercenary-for-hire named Jared Kincaid. She comes to explain the terms and asks him to choose which methods to fight during the duel: will power, skill, energy, or flesh. Harry chooses energy. A smaller note is that Harry also gives The Archive her own name, Ivy (tee hee), and it’s kind of really adorable and endearing.

Harry updates Father Vincent about the case and finds out he has one of the threads from the Shroud to help him locate it. Harry also leaves a message with Charity Carpenter to have Michael contact him. Charity, who absolutely loathes Harry to the umpteenth degree. This will be important later.

Harry heads to the harbor and locates two thieves who have the Shroud: Anna Valmont and Francisca Garcia, who trick him with the old ‘naked lady about to take a shower’ ruse (*rolls eyes at Harry*) and handcuff him to a pipe. They’re about to either kill him or leave him in the lurch when a nightmarish Denarian crashes through the window. Instead of a freakish bear-demon, this one is a killer Medusa with razor-strips for hair who murders Francisca, but Harry manages to blast her out of the boat before she can kill him and Anna and get the Shroud.

Anna whacks Harry on the head and takes the Shroud, and Harry’s magic-protected coat, and bails. I fully admit that I screeched “BITCH!” at this scene, but to her credit, at least she regrets her decision and goes back to drag him out so he won’t drown.

Harry updates Father Vincent again and stumbles home. Not long afterward, Susan drops by (*groans*) but to her credit, while I absolutely hate the conversation they have about her not being involved with Martin, I do like that Susan reveals she’s been working to stop rogue vampires from wiping out villages in Central America ever since she left. That’s good. That gives Susan agency, which she has been missing since her introduction. It’s the first thing I’ve ever liked about her, to be honest. Believe me, it’s been much needed after all this time of her being basically nothing but a sexpot.

Harry drops by the Carpenter’s house to see if Michael is around and bumps into Molly, the eldest daughter, who is fourteen. Molly is another character who we see in cameo form this time who becomes important later, and I like her a lot, but I’m not quite in love with her. Yet, anyway. She has a long way to go as a character, and I’m quite interested to see how things end up for her. However, while I only like Molly, I LOVE Molly and Harry’s relationship. By our calculations, Harry is somewhere in his 30’s, and she’s 14, and so of course he feels like an old man around this rebellious teenager with piercings and ripped up clothing who is scarily aware of things like sex and rough roleplay and it’s quite the amusing scene of them in the treehouse waiting for the Carpenters to come home.

Charity and the Carpenter babies arrive, and Harry tries to explain what he’s doing there, but Charity ignores him and puts him to work bringing the groceries inside. Shiro and Sanya are with them this time as well. However, the important part is that there is a scene that honest to God made my heart feel like someone put a hot-water-bottle on it. Charity is clearly upset that Harry needs Michael’s help because hanging around Harry tends to get Michael in trouble, and she is fiercely protective of him. She’s in the kitchen chopping vegetables, and Harry notices how angry she is, and so he gets up and starts helping her and actually manages to get her to open up about it. That is so unbearably sweet, to me. Charity hates Harry with the fire of a thousand suns and she has been pretty much nothing but nasty to him since Day One, but he cares enough about her and her family to try and make her feel better. This is what makes Harry such a likable character. He gives a shit. He always gives a shit, even to his own detriment or even when it’s about someone who has no regard for him at all. Scenes like this are why I fell in love with Harry as a character so quickly.

Since Michael is unavailable, Shiro agrees to meet with him and Ortega instead later that night. Harry returns home to find Murphy waiting for him with more bad news. Someone reported seeing him leave the harbor and the police found the body of Francisca Garcia, meaning he’s their prime suspect. She’s also been booted off the case thanks to a snooty higher up and she warns him to keep out of the public light until they find the real killer.

We also get this tidbit: “I spent a moment indulging myself in a pleasant fantasy in which Murphy pounded Rudy’s head against the door of her office at SI’s home building until the cheap wood had a Ruldolph-shaped dent in it. I enjoyed the thought way too much.”

Nothing says OTP like picturing your S.O. bashing someone’s head into a door. Marry her, Dresden. Do it now.

Susan calls and finally has something useful to say: she’s located the auction where they suspect the Shroud will be sold. She invites herself along, again, but don’t worry, at least this time she’s a ridiculously strong vampire so it’s not half as annoying.

Harry takes the Shroud thread that Father Vincent sent him out for a spin and goes to pick up Shiro to head to McAnnally’s for a formal meeting with Ortega and his second before the duel. It turns out that Ortega’s second is in fact Thomas Raith, the White Court vampire, and my aforementioned third favorite character in the series. Kincaid, Thomas, and Shiro get the details down on paper while Ortega and Harry sit at the bar. Ortega actually offers to forgo the duel if Harry surrenders and agrees to let the Red Court turn him into a vampire. Harry takes a moment to think about it, considering the fact that he doesn’t want to get murdered in the duel, but then discovers that the Red Court feeds on children and shoots the offer down with extreme prejudice.

Thomas comes by to chat and reveals he was forced into becoming Ortega’s second because his father, the King of the White Court, finds him to be a dangerous annoyance and this duel would be a good excuse for him to get bumped off. He also implies that Ortega is going to cheat by either having Harry killed before the duel or doing something illegal during the duel before leaving.

Susan shows to pick Harry up and once again Harry’s boner starts narrating the story, to my epic annoyance. He changes into a tux in the limo and they head to the shindig where the Shroud is to be auctioned off.

To Harry’s horror, “Gentleman” Johnny Marcone, the premiere Chicago crime boss, makes an appearance, which leads Harry to believe he’s gunning for the Shroud since he is not only aware of the supernatural but often involved with it during his criminal activity. Harry accuses Marcone of hiring the goon who tried to kill him at the Larry Fowler show, but Marcone is surprised, meaning Harry’s theory is wrong. Harry’s presence motivates Marcone to try and get him booted out of the party so he can’t interfere with the auction, so Harry and Susan use the thread to locate it. Harry finds Anna Valmont in a room with the Shroud, but they are interrupted by the Medusa Denarian and her even scarier partner, Nicodemus.

Boy, how do I even begin to talk about Nicodemus?

First of all, of all the baddies and villains Harry has faced before, Nicodemus is pretty damn singular. He’s just…evil. Pure, unadulterated, unapologetic, nasty, shudder-inducing evil. He’s not just an adversary. He’s a force of nature. He’s by far one of the most disturbing villains I’ve seen in fiction, so kudos to Jim Butcher for thinking this sick bastard up.

Nicodemus demands the Shroud, and since he and the Snake Bitch are responsible for killing Anna’s friend Francisca, she unloads her entire pistol into his chest. Unfortunately, Nicodemus carries around the rope that hanged Judas Iscariot, and he’s a Denarian, so he’s 100% immortal.

Well, shit.

Harry manages to blast the them aside with a  fire spell and he and Anna haul ass back down through a vent to the laundry level of the hotel, but Snake Bitch—her name is actually Deidre, if that helps—pursues. It is then that Susan Rodriguez finally, finally, FINALLY pulls her goddamn weight in this series and does something relevant.

She kicks Deidre’s ass.

Oh, yes.

Now that’s what I’m talking about. Grudge match between a Red Court vampire and a Denarian? Sign me the hell up for that. A++

However, a second snake Denarian attacks Susan with literal snakes that bite her, and she’s all but phobic of them, and Harry manages to knock them free and Martin takes the girls away in the limo before Nicodemus and Deidre catch up to Harry and knock him out.

And now, for another scene in this series that makes me want to curl up underneath a comforter and pray that the monsters won’t get me.

Harry wakes up tied upright under freezing cold running water in a basement somewhere. This is because wizards, or most supernatural folk, can’t conjure magic under running water because the element naturally cancels magic energy. Nicodemus enters and, I’m not kidding, sits down and eats a full course breakfast in front of Harry while explaining why he is interested in him. He offers him one of the coins in exchange for not killing him, because he knows of Harry’s reputation for destroying his opponents, and Nicodemus knows that somewhere down the line, they will have to face off, so he’d rather nip it in the bud. Harry, of course, says no (To quote my beloved soulmate, “Fuck off, Nick.” Why can’t I propose to a fictional character, that line was amazing.) and Nicodemus goes to slit his throat. Even though I’ve read all the books and stories, the scene where he comes at Harry with that knife STILL makes me squirm every time. It’s just horrifying.

And then Shiro shows up and kicks the living shit out of everyone.

While the delirious Harry sings the lyrics to the cartoon “Underdog” in celebration.

No, I am not kidding. Yes, you read that right.

Again, I freely admit that I bowled over laughing during this scene. Howling, in fact. My soulmate, ladies and gentlemen.

However, the laughter is short-lived because the only reason Shiro showed up is to trade himself for Harry for 24 hours. It is as heartbreaking as it sounds.

Nicodemus cuts Harry down and takes Shiro into custody, but of course orders Deidre to kill Harry before he can escape the basement. Harry hauls ass and meets Susan halfway out before eventually escaping back to his apartment. He sets up an emergency spell to keep the entropy curse Nicodemus sends after them at bay, but there’s a catch: it seals them inside his apartment for around eight hours, and Susan just so happens to need to feed.

If you have any sense, you know where this is going.

Have you ever liked someone but they have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you see them kiss and you’re just not having ANY of it? Yeah, that’s me reading the sex scene between Harry and Susan.

 

HOWEVER.

This one is different from the other scenes of Harry and Susan, because up until this point, they’ve only made luuuuuuuuuurve to each other. That has emotions and whatnot. This was pure sex.

It’s 100% certain that I don’t like Susan and I don’t like Harry with Susan.

That being said…the sex scene is pretty f@#king hot.

I hate to say it, but yeah. It rustled my jimmies a bit. I’m not proud of it, but damn it all, the set up was smoking hot and while I burned with envy, I begrudgingly admit it was well done. Let us never speak of this moment again.

So after bangin’, the spell lifts and Harry and Susan go to meet with Father Forthill to discuss the Denarians. They also visit the Carpenters, which is where they sent Anna Valmont to recover from her last fight. She agrees to help, after she’s had a shower, and of course she gives them the slip, while stealing Harry’s car in the meantime. Do you see what I meant about Harry’s boner? This is why he’s only allowed to have eyes for Murphy. It doesn’t screw him over half as much.

Harry also figures out that Father Vincent isn’t Father Vincent at all: he’s a shapeshifting Denarian named Cassius who replaced him in order to manipulate Harry into finding the Shroud for Nicodemus. What follows is a massively satisfying, dark, complicated scene where  Cassius fake-surrenders to Michael and Sanya and gives up his coin, meaning they cannot take violent action against him. Harry is infuriated by this, but realizes they are bound by their religion to follow certain rules, and that he is NOT bound by those rules.

So he gets a baseball bat and breaks the son of a bitch’s legs and ankles.

I. Love. This. Scene.

It’s such a fantastic example of the “He Who Fights Monsters” trope. Harry just goes off and whales on this evil, sick, demented freak and it’s an ugly thing to do, but sometimes smiting evil ain’t pretty. Sometimes good guys don’t do the right thing for the right reason. I love the grey area of it all, that Harry is torturing a bad guy for information in order to save Shiro and the rest of Chicago from whatever awful thing Nicodemus is about to do. It’s an amazing study of how Harry’s temper is a character flaw and how he is still a good man who can occasionally just snap when someone he cares about is threatened.

To seal the deal, Harry tosses the bleeding, barely conscious Denarian a quarter and says, “There’s a pay phone on the other side of the parking lot, past a patch of broken glass. You’d better get yourself an ambulance. If I ever see you again—ever—I’ll kill you.”

My body is ready

Also, Michael and Sanya later note that pay phones cost more than a quarter and Harry says, “I know” and they all crack up laughing because that was some cold blooded shit and it was really amazing to do to such an evil monster.

So Cassius spilled the beans that Nicodemus is going to use the Shroud to power a curse that will basically infect the entire city with terminal diseases as well as anyone coming to or leaving the city within the time frame of the curse, as it will be performed at the airport. It’s his version of the Great Flood, wiping out civilization to start anew. Harry tells Murph the news and then it’s time to head to the duel.

Ortega and Harry face off using will power to push a very scary little artifact called mordite, which immediately kills anything it touches, towards each other. It should be noted that Thomas shows up to the duel drunk off his ass and high as a cloud wearing a Buffy the Vampire Slayer t-shirt. Slow clap for Thomas, please. Thank you.

The duel begins and to Harry’s horror, it turns out Ortega does indeed cheat: he’s wearing a fake arm underneath his clothing to make it look like he’s still trying to will the mordite towards Harry, but instead pulls a gun on him. Just before he can kill Harry, Martin shoots the hell out of him from the stadium stands and all hell breaks loose. A bunch of Red Court vampires attack and the gang has to fight them all off. Susan is injured, but they all make it out alive, and Harry rushes off to the airport to help stop Nicodemus’ curse. He, Sanya, and Michael have Murphy call in a bomb threat to evacuate the innocent bystanders and then get to work. Unfortunately, they arrive too late. Shiro has been used as a sacrifice to power the curse.

Shiro’s death scene hits you like a ton of exploding bricks. It’s honestly hard to read in certain parts because of how guilty Harry feels at being unable to save him, and that the old man gladly gave his life for him without hesitation. The only thing I dislike about it is something we find out later about him, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

They chase after Nicodemus, who has boarded a train, with the help of Marcone and his helicopter. Harry tries to keep Marcone from coming with them, knowing he’ll find a way to betray them, but Marcone refuses to aid them unless he can assist, and Harry very amusingly says he “sucks diseased moose wang” and then they go after Nicodemus. They are fortunately able to thwart his plan and get the Shroud, but Harry passes out just as they get it and it’s nicked by Marcone in the end.

But it’s around here that we see one of the few things I actually dislike about this novel. After recovering, Harry gets a post-mortem letter from Shiro exposing that he has cancer. I really hate this trope, the trope where a secondary character we all like has to die for some reason, but they do it willingly since they have a terminal disease, so that makes it “okay.” It really is a last ditch effort to avail Harry of the guilt of being partially responsible for Shiro’s death, and I don’t like it at all. It’s surprising since Butcher sucker-punches our feels with no regard for how hard it makes us sob like infants. This feels borderline corny to me, considering how fresh and original his writing style is. Harry has a lot of bad choices to live with, and so it irks me that he felt the need to wipe the slate clean with this letter. Shiro’s sacrifice is weakened a lot by giving him cancer and making him a martyr. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, personally.

On the upside, Harry also gets his trenchcoat back from Anna Valmont as well as his car. We also find out that Ortega survived, but he was badly hurt so they had to return him to his homeland to recover.

There is also a detail I actually forgot about during my first read-through. Harry trails Marcone in order to find the Shroud, and it turns out that he wanted to use it on someone who could quite possibly be either his daughter or a relative who was comatose. I mean…wow. Like, wow. That’s damn good writing. I don’t care for Marcone. I find him to be too much of a Lex Luthor type character, since too many stories have the stereotypical gentleman mob boss, but this is a great angle of vulnerability for an otherwise uninteresting character. It also makes Harry realize that while he still demands that Marcone returns the Shroud in three days to the proper authorities, he does admit that he’d have done something like that to save someone he loves as well.

In our final scene, Harry sees little two year old Harry (the baby who almost died in Grave Peril, so they named him after Harry, which is precious) outside looking at something shiny. It’s one of the Denarian coins, and big Harry manages to snatch it up before the toddler touches it. Nicodemus, the slime, is in a car on the street, having dropped it as a way to get them back for spoiling his plan. See? SEE? DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN WITH THIS GUY?

Since Harry touched it, he now carries a latent amount of the demon’s imprint, but he buries the coin underneath his basement to keep it from falling into the wrong hands, including his own. He also keeps Shiro’s sword above the mantle and takes down the photos of Susan, closing the book on their relationship now that it’s over.

Overall, I ended up liking Death Masks far more than I expected to, especially considering it’s a book with Susan in it. It has a lot of really fantastic introductions to characters we come to know better later on, it has some chilling elements, some amazing moral quandaries for our hero, and an engrossing plot that makes you keep turning those pages. It doesn’t drag the way that Grave Peril or Fool Moon did at times, and it hits all the right spaces between humor, drama, and action.

Overall Grade: 4 out of 5

Join me next time for one of my absolute favorite books in the series, Blood Rites. Aka the one where our precious flower Harry Dresden finally starts to realize he has feelings for a certain short, blond, incredibly awesome lady cop. See ya then.

Kyoko