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Christmas Headcanons 2015

TBP Valentine's Day color crop

In the Christmas spirit yet? If not, maybe this will help. Here’s another edition of headcanons for Team Amador, Christmas-style! In case you’re new to the concept, headcanons are basically little bits of story that happen “off-screen” in the Black Parade universe. In this case, these headcanons take place after the events of The Holy Dark.


Who starts putting up decorations in December? Michael. Especially after the first year Jordan and Michael are homeowners and he’s excited about getting to do normal domestic things that the average family would do. He later ropes Allison into it to help since Jordan isn’t all that interested.

Who buys the advent calendars? Michael.

Who places mistletoe all around the house? Michael. He loves stealing smooches. Jordan tries to take them down, but he always has a secret stash to replace the ones she finds. She thinks it’s annoying, but adorable, like always.

Who wraps the presents for other people? Jordan. Michael tears wrapping paper every time he tries to wrap something, so he sticks to bags and fills them with tissue paper instead. He also will enlist the help of Gabriel, who can flawlessly wrap anything.

Who puts the final angel/star on the top of the Christmas tree? For their years alone, Michael picks Jordan up and lets her put it on theirs. Then it’s always Allison, even though she insists she can do it herself without him helping her.

Who’s the one that hates eggnog? Jordan. She has consistency issues.

Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests? Jordan. She’s a fantastic cook and baker, and while she isn’t always in the Christmas spirit, she loves baking.

Who sends out the Christmas cards? Jordan and Gabriel team up to find the right ones. They treat it like a yearly excursion for just the two of them, picking personalized cards and who they’re for.

Who knows all the words to the Twelve Days of Christmas? Michael. Jordan doesn’t like to sing. The only time he can get her to sing is when they take a shower together.

Who is the better snowman builder? Jordan. Michael’s strength tends to make him smush the snow too much, so she has to show him how to make it. Allison is also really good at it and she can make the more detailed sculptures in the snow too.

Who starts snowball fights? Jordan. Every time. She waits until he least expects it and then pounces.

Who’s the one to wake the other on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loud? Michael, of course. He and Allison gang up on Jordan, who hides under the covers and threatens to murder them both if they don’t go away.


Here’s hoping you guys all have a happy holiday season!

Headcanon Exercise #3

Tangled Up MJ

Welcome back to another installment of headcanons from The Black Parade series! In case you’re late to the party, here are Parts One and Two. A headcanon is basically something that is thought to happen off-screen in a work of fiction. In this case, we’re taking another crack at married life with Jordan and Michael. Enjoy!

Gives nose/forehead kisses: Michael. He is extremely affectionate when the two of them are alone. Jordan will give him a forehead kiss every once in a while, but he’s more prone to do it.

Gets jealous the most: Michael. If they’re out on a date, he gets a little grumpy if guys look at Jordan, but he doesn’t do anything about it other than maybe scowl at them. Jordan scolds him if she catches him doing it, so he has to be very covert about it.

Picks the other one up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive: Neither, since Jordan’s past issues with alcohol mean that neither of them drinks much.

Takes care of on sick days: They take turns, but Michael getting sick is an entirely different animal. He’s prone to get a Man Cold, where he’s basically a giant whiny baby and Jordan patiently makes him tea and force-feeds him cold medicine on the rare occasion that it happens.

Drags the other person into the water on beach day: Michael drags Jordan in every time. She can swim, but she doesn’t like getting her hair wet. Michael always makes up for it by helping her wash her hair later and she always forgives him.

Gives unprompted massages: Michael loves giving Jordan massages. It took quite a bit of convincing since she’s so self-conscious about her scars, but it turns out Michael is quite good at them. He still gives her foot massages on nights when she can’t get to sleep too.

Drives/rides shotgun: Michael drives. It’s a male ego thing.

Brings the other lunch at work: They alternate. Michael brings her lunch when she has long shifts at work, and Jordan brings him lunch when he leaves the house late and forgets to take it with him.

Has the better parental relationship: Michael, naturally, since Jordan and Lewis were estranged for so long. That being said, he and Lewis really dislike each other and pretty much exchange one or two words whenever they’re around each other.

Tries to start roleplaying in bed: Michael’s had quite a few ideas, but nothing too outrageous—the French maid and the Naughty Nurse being the first couple he asked about. The only one Jordan ever requested was Michael dressing up as Harry Dresden, which he was all too happy to oblige.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: Michael. Again, he almost never lets himself get there out of respect for Jordan, but of the two he’d be more likely.

Still cries watching Titanic: Neither. They both hate the movie.

Firmly believes in couples costumes: Michael. He’s super enthusiastic about Halloween and actually teams up with Lauren to pick their costume for the parties they attend each year. Jordan goes along with it as long as it’s nothing too outlandish.

Breaks the expensive gift rule at Christmas: Michael. But Jordan always counteracts it with something really thoughtful and sweet.

Makes the other eat breakfast: Jordan. Michael is a procrastinator when it comes to work, so she always makes him stop and grab a bite before heading out the door.

Remembers anniversaries: Both of them are pretty good about it. Jordan keeps track of the minor ones and Michael keeps track of the big ones: six months, a year, etc.

Brings up having kids: Since they can’t conceive, neither of them really discusses it, especially not after they adopt Allison.

Headcanon Exercise #2

Welcome back to another edition of Headcanons! In case you missed it, a headcanon is basically an idea of events that one considers happened during a work of fiction that just happens to be “off-screen” so to speak. The first one I did was a nice bit of fun, and since it’s been a little over a month since The Holy Dark dropped, I thought I’d give you guys a little insight into Jordan and Michael’s married life. Please enjoy!


 

Who’s the cuddler? About a month or two ago, I posted this photo because I have this serious headcanon that Michael is the cuddler and Jordan is kind of like a cat—she only likes to be held at certain times, not always. I think they spoon when they sleep in bed, but sometimes she’ll scoot away and sleep on her stomach while he just has an arm around her. Jordan is very particular about her space.

Who makes the bed? They take turns.

Who wakes up first? Michael is a morning person. It drives Jordan crazy. She needs a whole cup of coffee to wake up in the morning whereas he’s always fresh and ready to go at a moment’s notice.

Who has the weird taste in music? Jordan. She really likes oddball indie movie soundtracks and instrumentals. Michael likes more mainstream music.

Who is more protective? Michael, naturally. He doesn’t get jealous easily (unless it’s Belial, and that’s pretty understandable) but he does have moments where he worries about Jordan being off on her own, and he’ll rip off someone’s limbs if they present even the slightest threat to her.

Who sings in the shower? Michael likes to do Elvis impersonations in the shower. Jordan finds it utterly hilarious.

Who cries during movies? It’s tough to get Jordan to cry, but she will if something is particularly emotional or strikes a cord with her. She’s more likely to cry if something is family related, like the ending to Pixar’s Brave.

Who spends the most while out shopping? Michael manages the money, so he’d know what they can splurge on and what they can’t. Jordan is super-low maintenance, and Michael tries to sneakily spoil her when she’s not paying attention.

Who kisses more roughly? Jordan. Michael is very sweet and she’s more reckless about how they kiss.

Who is more dominant? *cackles* Like making the bed, they take turns. I personally think in their first few months of being together, they were both really eager to find out how the other person reacts in bed, so they’d make a game out of seeing who could get a bigger “reaction.”

Stay tuned for more! If you like these ideas, please feel free to share your OWN headcanons over on the Facebook page. Don’t forget to review the books if you’ve finished the series. It helps more than you’ll ever know.

Headcanon Exercise #1

I just happened past a Tumblr post with a list of headcanons that piqued my interest. If you’re not aware, a headcanon is basically an idea you have about certain characters that isn’t directly seen in the canon of a work of fiction. It’s usually used in the context of television shows, anime, movies, and such, but it happens with original fiction as well. I thought this would be a fun way for you guys to get to know more about the characters of The Black Parade, so here we go.

JORDAN

TBP Jordan Boxing gloves

  • can they use chopsticks: Yes.
  • what do they do when they can’t sleep: She reads “Bartleby the Scrivener” by Herman Melville because it is unbelievably boring and it always makes her nod off before she can finish. However, if she’s up because of a nightmare, then she pours herself some whiskey and it calms her down enough to sleep.
  • what would they impulse buy at the grocery store: Lindt chocolate.
  • what order do they wash things in the shower: Hair first (once a week), shoulders, arms, torso, legs, and feet.
  • what’s their coffee order: two creams, three sugars.
  • what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone: Kindle App, Words with Friends, and Tip Calculator (for any of her customers who can’t multiply).
  • how do they act around children: Jordan loves kids, thanks to spending a lot of time with Lauren’s daughter, Lily. She’s completely at ease around them.
  • what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on: Jordan loves terrible scary movies because she likes to riff them and talk about plotholes.

 

MICHAEL

The Black Parade Michael crop

 

  • can they use chopsticks: Yes, but not that well.
  • what do they do when they can’t sleep: He’ll write songs or play his guitar until he starts getting drowsy.
  • what would they impulse buy at the grocery store: Knick knacks like laser pointers, Swiss Army knives, or any little things that might be useful on a mission.
  • what order do they wash things in the shower: Armpits, arms, chest, legs, feet, and hair last since it doesn’t take long to wash. He also shaves in the shower.
  • what’s their coffee order: He can drink it black, but he prefers a little cream.
  • what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone: Banking apps, Adobe Acrobat, Kindle App, iTunes, Excel, Flashlight, Navigator app, and Skype.
  • how do they act around children: He’s fine if there are other people around, but he gets anxious if he has to babysit alone because it’s a big responsibility and his life is pretty dangerous. He worries about putting them in harm’s way.
  • what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on: It’s a guilty pleasure, but he’ll leave on MTV or VH1 if it’s early morning when they play 70s, 80s, 90s, and 00s jams.

 

GABRIEL

The Black Parade Gabriel crop

  • can they use chopsticks: Yes, since he schmoozes with wealthy people a lot. Better than Jordan and Michael at using them, in fact.
  • what do they do when they can’t sleep: Goes over financial reports from his company.
  • what would they impulse buy at the grocery store: Cologne, nice watches, lint roller, breath mints, and candy.
  • what order do they wash things in the shower: Gabriel is very particular about his hair, so he probably washes it first and conditions it, then moves from head to toe.
  • what’s their coffee order: Lots of cream and sugar. He doesn’t actually like coffee that much. He prefers tea whenever possible.
  • what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone: Pretty much anything your average multi-millionaire businessman would need. When he can’t be around a laptop, he uses his phone.
  • how do they act around children: He adores them. Can’t get enough. He always tries to bring Lily a toy or trinket if he visits.
  • what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on: C-Span.

 

BELIAL

The Black Parade Belial crop

  • can they use chopsticks: Yes, proficiently.
  • what do they do when they can’t sleep: He’ll go to a bar and find himself a date.
  • what would they impulse buy at the grocery store: Condoms. Because he can never have too many.
  • what order do they wash things in the shower: Like Gabriel, he is very particular about how he takes care of his hair. He also goes from feet to head in washing order.
  • what’s their coffee order: Cappuccino or espresso. He doesn’t like plain coffee much.
  • what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone: Anything that helps him keep up with his scores and scores of floozies, but also financial matters. He also loathes any form of social media and won’t indulge in it no matter what his company says.
  • how do they act around children: Hates them all.
  • what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on: He’s a fan of trashy reality shows. He’s also a closet fan of True Blood and Game of Thrones, so he’ll put on the DVDs if he gets bored enough.

Stay tuned! I might do a few more, if it’s not too dorky.