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My Favorite Disney Villains

A couple years ago, I listed some of those villains that get underneath my skin, the most insidious, hateable ones in the last 20 years. Now let’s take a trip down Memory Lane of everyone’s favorite distributor of those evil bastards, Disney. Because if they’re good at one thing, it’s making you love to hate these jerks. Buckle up and get ready to throw popcorn at your screen. These are my favorite Disney villains.

Jafar (Aladdin)

I have to admit the nefarious Jafar was a villain I needed to mature in order to truly appreciate. When I was a kid, I knew I hated the smug S.O.B but a couple years ago, Aladdin was running on cable and I actually sat down and watched the film instead of just singing the songs.

Guys.

Jafar was awful.

But in a good way.

As in, “wow, I am really impressed at what a horrible human being you are,” not in a gross “I dig this guy” kind of way. Think about it. Not only does Jafar have a very vibrant, memorable personality, but he has a highly specific skillset and a master plan to get what he wants, and he’s not afraid to manipulate every single main character in order to obtain his goal. I also like that weirdly enough, his relationship with Iago is not only hilarious, but perplexing in a way. They argue non-stop, but then you can kind of tell he enjoys having him around as a henchman and so they can both bond over being unapologetically evil. I especially love little bits of dialogue like “So…how did it go?” or when they’re musing about beheadings (“Ewwwww!”) or after they’re discovered and Iago’s trying to pack up his stuff but stops to go, “And what do you think about this picture? I don’t know. I think I’m making a weird face in it.” Stuff like that you miss as a kid and then you get older and find it much funnier that Jafar and Iago actually have a rapport going the entire time and it’s hilarious.

What I also noticed upon my adult viewing was that his voice actor, Jonathan Freeman, truly did a phenomenal job. Jafar’s voice is just…epic. I’m in awe of how Freeman managed to make slime and venom just drip from every word out of his mouth. Special mention goes to the perverted moment at the end where Jafar wishes for Jasmine—who, mind you, is sixteen—to fall desperately in love with him out of sheer spite that she refused to comply. I mean, it’s liable to give you some kind of venereal disease when those words come out of his mouth. I always shudder in disgust when he goes, “Now, pussycat, tell me more about…myself.” Brr, now that’s good evil. Hell, his voice acting is so badass that even though the second Aladdin straight-to-DVD sequel Return of Jafar is complete garbage, his musical number in it is outstanding and I still listen to it to this very day.

Plus, Jafar is one of those villains who wasn’t afraid to have some flair about him. He did everything in style, down to taunting Aladdin in the final fight with a hurricane of puns while attempting to kill the poor kid. Say what you will about plotholes (seriously, yes, I can admit that Jafar obviously should have just killed the royal family and taken over instead of trying to do it the hard way; I mean, he had mind control powers, for goodness sake), but Jafar ages like a fine, evil wine, if you ask me. If you haven’t taken a gander at him in recent times, please do. I think you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised at what a colorful character he is.

Hades (Hercules)

Have I mentioned that I have a thing for snarky villains? Because I have a thing for snarky villains and for that reason, Hades is easily in my Top 10 favorite Disney villains list, even though these are in no particular order.

Like Jafar, Hades in my opinion gets better with age. And since James Woods is apparently a large garbage fire in real life (*rimshot*), it’s all the more important that I love this character while violently ignoring who voiced him, much like John Smith from Pocahontas (side note: please tell me I’m not alone in my massive crush on John Smith, mm, he’s exquisite).

Hades is a riot. Not only is he funny as hell (*second rimshot*), but his hatred for Zeus and the other gods is pretty legitimate, as they live in a shiny utopia and he’s stuck downstairs with the dead. Now, keep in mind, I have a Bachelor of Arts in English Lit, and so yes, I am very aware that this harmless little Disney movie in no way is accurately portraying Greek mythology. I’m one of those people who can honestly roll with the punches, and Hercules is one of my favorite Disney films, so I can forgive that they weren’t trying to adapt the myths as they appear in real life.

I like that Hades has a good reason for hating Zeus, and that he wants to screw him over any way possible and take the throne, and that he is actually a flawed villain. Sometimes you get villains who get away with everything all the time and it can be kind of tedious, but Hades was the right balance of conniving and evil, but he still screwed up on a regular basis. Plus, like Jafar, I love that Hades has minions that he bounces amazing dialogue off of, particularly my girl Meg. (I love her, in case you can’t tell.) I really love the relationship they have, where she unwillingly serves him and sasses him outright to his face pretty much 24/7. She even stands up to him in spite of having zero power when he asks her to turn on poor sweet Hercules. Even after everything goes tits up, Hades was still trying to bring home the win when Hercules bargained for Meg’s soul, and you’ve got to admire the guy for trying.

Besides, out of all the Disney villains, he’s probably got the best inventory of reaction .gifs. You just can’t resist using them. All hail Hades.

 

Mother Gothel (Tangled)

You have to admit that it takes one cold, empty, vain bitch to kidnap someone’s child and raise them as your own and pretend to love them just for eternal youth.

And that’s why Mother Gothel rocks my socks.

I mean, wow. The level of cold-blooded could qualify her to be Mr. Freeze’s wife, for heaven’s sake. We’ve seen plenty of villains do unbelievable things in the name of vanity and greed, but raising a daughter just so you can siphon off her energy for beauty? That’s the lowest of the low. If you recall, Mother Gothel was on my Most Hateable Villain list as well because of how sociopathic she was, but that’s why I find myself loving her too. She does all the classic awful things that bad mothers do, like manipulating Rapunzel by lying to her about the real world, picking at her self-esteem, and then just isolating the poor child for her entire life for her own gain.

I also think that her voice actor, Donna Murphy, got robbed in the Oscar season because while “I See the Light” was adorable and lovely, her vocals for “Mother Knows Best (Reprise)” sends chills down my spine. ICYMI, Donna Murphy is actually a trained Tony Award winning actress and that’s pretty obvious from her stellar performance. I love that Mother Gothel is so delightfully over the top and yet she can switch to bone-chillingly threatening in a heartbeat. It’s not often that Disney has the villain outright stab the hero in the gut on screen and watch him die with a sick satisfaction. She’s definitely an underrated lady and not to be trifled with in the least, and I have to respect her for that.

Dr. Facilier (The Princess and the Frog)

First of all, can I get a round of applause for whatever brilliant casting director hired the amazing Keith David for the part of Dr. Facilier? I mean, bravo. Both for his acting and that killer singing voice.

I adored The Princess and the Frog for so many reasons, and Dr. Facilier is definitely one of a kind and helped make the film what it was. Much like Hades, I liked that he carried a grudge for a good reason. He couldn’t use the voodoo on himself, and being a supposedly impoverished black man during that time period gave him a serious ax to grind against the upper class, both black and white. He was a slippery, cunning bastard who knew just what thing to whisper in your ear to get you to fall for his scheme. I loved that what he offered Tiana in the end wasn’t some awful, evil deal, but something she truly wanted with all her heart and so she wavered for just a second thinking about it. Some of the best villains ensnare the heroes that way, after all, playing on their aspirations.

The magical aspects surrounding him were also interesting, as we don’t see enough of the kind of male witch-doctor angle from villains in children’s movies. He had a particular kind of charming threat to him, and it was believable that so many people in New Orleans got caught in his traps. I truly enjoyed how unnerving his shadow minions were and the stunning visuals in his amazing villain song “Friends on the Other Side” that a lot of people cited as the best song in the movie’s soundtrack (I can argue for and against it, as almost all the songs hit me right where I live).

And I can’t leave without mentioning how freaking terrifying the way he meets his end was. I’m an adult and I still find it chilling. Kudos, Disney.

Ursula (The Little Mermaid)

I have a slight confession to make here: I don’t care for The Little Mermaid, and I didn’t even when I was a kid. I think even as a little six or seven year old kid, I thought it was stupid that Ariel ditched her entire family and life for a hot guy. Now, as I got older I can also apply the reasoning that she also wanted to explore the human world, which is better, but I still never bonded with Ariel.

But Ursula?

Yeah, we can hang.

Ursula’s complete over-the-topness is probably what I remember most fondly about The Little Mermaid, aside from the absurd “Les Poissons” Big Lipped Alligator Moment song. She’s so delightful because she’s petty, vindictive, and manipulative. Most of the time when you see the Top 10 Disney Villain Songs lists, Ursula’s “Poor Unfortunate Souls” is near the top. It’s not only an incredible song but an incredible performance. Like Jafar, the voice actress Pat Carroll sold that performance to the umpteenth degree. She makes your skin crawl, but at the same time, she’s so damned entertaining that you can’t help but smile a little. One of my favorite lines is when she called Ariel a “trollop” because she actually was getting Eric to fall in love with her even though she couldn’t talk (side note: hmm, that might be another reason I subconsciously didn’t care for this movie; granted, Ariel’s adorable behavior was what Eric was falling in love with, but you can probably still make the case that this is pretty shallow) I mean, wow, that’s pretty salty to call the little dear a “trollop” and I found it endlessly hilarious as an adult.

Plus, Ursula’s transformation at the end was beyond epic. She was legitimately terrifying and there wasn’t any manipulation to be had—she straight up tried to murder everyone involved and rule over the ocean as a titan. You gotta respect the lady’s goals. She does nothing half-assed. She even meets her end in a spectacular fashion. I tip my hat to you, Ursula, as one of the baddest girls of them all.

Scar (The Lion King)

By now, we’ve all pretty much cited that The Lion King is Hamlet But with Lions, and in spite of that, it’s still just a well told, well executed Disney film. We come back to it all the time for its powerful relationships and beautiful score and stunning visuals.

Then, on top of that, we get Scar.

Oh, Scar. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Scar is such a phenomenal villain that aside from Simon Gruber, Jeremy Irons never found another role as good as that one. He’s another that usually tops the Disney Villains lists for just being so terribly entertaining and maniacal. One of the things I find compelling about Scar is that he has more than just one of the seven deadly sins as a hubris, he has quite a few: envy, pride, wrath, and gluttony, most prominently. He’s envious of Mufasa, he’s so prideful that he thinks he can lead the pride (*rimshot*) even though he has no leadership skills, he murdered his own brother in cold blood and then tried to murder his nephew as well, and he let the hyenas literally eat the entire pridelands into famine. Wow. Aside from Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, he might be one of the only villains to check off so many sins all at once.

Scar’s personality on top of all that evil is also why he usually tops lists. He openly snarks at everything, friend or foe, and he’s not afraid to drop the pretense of being Amicably Evil and just be flat out evil. Even after Simba finally catches up to him, he tries to manipulate him and the pride. He’s cruel, but he makes you laugh. He’s evil, but he does it with flair. He’s ineffectual in a fight, but he knows how to turn the tide in his favor when it comes down to it. He even meets his end trying to manipulate the hyenas once again. Scar is unforgettable and fascinating and we need more villains like him in future flicks.

Gaston (The Beauty and the Beast)

If there’s one villain on this list that I love to hate, it’s Gaston.

At first, I wasn’t going to add him, but then I took a deeper look at my opinion of the man, and that’s what changed my mind. Anyone who knows me knows I am a feminist—a real feminist, not the kind who are just man-hating SJWs—as in I want men and women to have the same amount of rights and treatment and live in harmony without either side dealing with unfair bullshit.

Gaston is the ultimate sexist, misogynistic pig. He’s my worst nightmare. Just looking at him makes me want to put my fist through the screen.

And that’s why he sticks with us.

For example, I have recently likened the character Grant Ward from Agents of SHIELD to Gaston, simply because a portion of the AoS fandom has become those three little blonde girls you see in the background of Gaston’s incredible musical number. Unfortunately, in real life and in other forms of fiction, Gaston exists. There is always a handsome guy whose actions are utterly reprehensible, but he’s charming and good-looking, so people are willing to overlook his monstrous actions. Ward’s fangirls have locked themselves in the Denial closet because they find him attractive, so he gets a pass even though he is literally a Neo-Nazi murdering psychopath. But I digress.

Gaston fascinates me, in a way, because of his vanity and his ego, and how far he is willing to go just to satisfy them both. It would be different if he had just been manipulating Belle to get in her pants, but as the movie continues and he later uses her father to get her to cooperate, it becomes more than that. Then, it’s about Gaston trying control Belle. She told him no. He doesn’t want to hear no. It’s no longer about sex at that point. It’s about a woman with her own mind and her own desires and they don’t line up with a typical “man’s man” alpha male and it drives him crazy, since he thinks a woman is just a thing to own. It escalates brilliantly once he finds out about the Beast and he incites a full on lynch mob before proceeding to straight up murder the Beast over the woman who 100% rejected him multiple times. Honestly, you could write an essay unpacking the layers to Gaston and Belle’s antagonistic relationship. It’s pretty incredible to examine.

Besides all the deep stuff, Gaston is wonderfully over-the-top. You can’t take your eyes off the man. He’s such a relentlessly awful douche, down to being presumptuous and assembling a wedding reception before proposing to Belle, as he’s just that sure she was going to say yes. Wow. Just wow.

There isn’t a day that can come around when I’m not willing to totally belt out the lyrics to “Gaston” because it’s one of Disney’s most singable songs. Complete with ridiculous flourishing and strutting about like the man himself. Because, really, Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips.

Hopper (A Bug’s Life)

Funnily enough, when I went through both the Disney Animated Canon and Disney/Pixar lists, I didn’t find myself really thinking any of the Disney/Pixar villains were the kind I loved. For example, I put Lotso from Toy Story 3 on my Most Hateable List (the damned bear made me curse in a theater full of children, for God’s sake!) but I had to really think about if any of the Pixar villains left an impression on me this way. Well, a couple years ago, they were running A Bug’s Life on the Disney channel, and I thought about the fact that I hadn’t seen it as an adult, so I gave it a shot.

Dude.

Hopper is an incredible villain.

Granted, I shouldn’t be surprised, as it’s Kevin freaking Spacey doing the voice, and even when Spacey’s at his most over-the-top, he’s phenomenal. However, Hopper is one of a kind and deserves more attention, but most of the time he gets overlooked since A Bug’s Life is a slightly underwhelming film overall. It’s a case of an outstanding villain inside of a mediocre film.

Hopper figured out that all he really needed to do was devalue the ants and make it seem like they didn’t have a choice in the matter. His tall stature and intimidating voice did half the work for him, and it was all downhill from there once the ants were afraid to stand up for themselves. What I found most interesting was after the grasshoppers were back at their place and saying they didn’t need to go back for food, as we’re shown they had plenty, and Hopper kills the two who spoke up, because it’s not about the food. It was never about the food. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Hopper wanted the ants to stay subservient and it didn’t matter how he accomplished that goal, down to killing the queen and her poor little granddaughter if necessary. The level of cruelty Hopper displays as a dictator is pretty chilling, even in a movie that’s plenty bright and colorful. What I found most chilling was when Flik finally stood up to him and he gets slapped around for his trouble before Hopper seriously is about to crush Flik’s skull in front of the entire ant colony. Wow. Public execution in a kids’ movie. Who knew Pixar had it in them?

Basically, I’m pretty happy Hopper was tiny and fictional, because that kind of person can destroy entire nations with that mentality and personality and the will to get it done. He was easily able to fool the ants into being afraid because he knew the right pressure points. I think it was an important lesson for kids to take away from the film, even if it probably went over their heads and stuck more with the adults. It’s a good reflection of how men like that rise to power, by making the masses believe that they don’t have a choice, and that their voices don’t count. (*side-eyes America*)

So kudos to you, Hopper. You made a pretty damned legitimate threat in a movie about circus bugs.

Ratigan (The Great Mouse Detective)

The Great Mouse Detective deserves a thousand times more love than it gets. However, this tends to happen a lot with the films before the Disney Renaissance. A lot of them weren’t heavily circulated on TV or DVD, and so people tend to forget they’re there. This is an example of a film that didn’t talk down to children. It gave them a challenging, scary caper to follow and provided us with a wild ride that is honestly pretty damn great, all things considered.

In case you missed out on it, The Great Mouse Detective is exactly what it says on the tin: a mouse version of Sherlock Holmes. We follow along as Detective Basil of Baker Street is given the task of finding a kidnapped scientist, as the scientist’s little daughter has hired him and his right hand man Dawson to find her father. Like in Sherlock Holmes, Basil has an archnemesis: Ratigan. Literally a huge rat who is just as brilliant as Basil, but he hates being called a rat.

Oh, did I mention Ratigan is voiced by the late great Vincent Price?

Are you ordering the DVD on Amazon yet? You are? Great. You’re welcome. Please enjoy.

I mean, you had me at hello right there. Vincent Price is the master of the macabre, and it’s nowhere better seen than in his performance of Ratigan. He’s your classic villain, where he constantly leaves little messages to Basil and thwarts the detective’s attempts to stop him, taunting him constantly, nearly breaking his spirit in one instance.

Ratigan is one of my favorites for being so very, very devious. I mean, for the crime of one drunk mouse calling him a rat (seriously, the mouse is blatantly drunk, and there’s also a freaking strip tease routine later, so how can you not appreciate this movie?) he feeds said drunk mouse to his enormous fat cat that he somehow owns. A rat that has the balls to own his own natural enemy. That’s Ratigan.

What truly seals things is that Ratigan gets angry if anyone calls him a rat because he considers himself to be a criminal genius and has enormous social stature, but then when his plan is foiled, he literally goes completely feral and attacks Basil in one of the scariest final sequences in Disney history. I’m not kidding. It’s downright unnerving. Even if you don’t see the film after my recommendation, do me a favor and look at this fight sequence. If a little chill doesn’t go down your spine, you’re crazy or in denial.

Percival C. McLeach (Rescuers Down Under)

Like some of the other Disney films on this list, Rescuers Down Under is one of the Disney films that gets overlooked a lot simply for being earlier era Disney, but it’s actually one of those rare sequels that is largely hailed as better than the original. Not only is the animation absolutely gorgeous, it’s a thrilling ride with lots of humor and colorful characters that will capture your heart pretty much instantaneously. Rescuers Down Under is also one of the movies that I decided to rewatch as an adult since I didn’t recall much from my childhood other than really liking John Candy’s role as the goofy seagull.

Well, one thing that also left a lasting impression on my rewatch is Mr. Percival C. McLeach.

Now, a lot of you are probably squinting right now going, “Wow, that was really the bad guy’s full name in this movie?” I’m with you on that one. I actually forgot his name too until I Googled it. However, look at his picture and I’m sure it’ll immediately snap into your mind what a greasy, insidious piece of evil crap this guy was.

For those who might have missed the movie, Rescuers Down Under is about a sweet little Australian boy named Cody who stumbles across an incredibly rare, beautiful, huge golden eagle and befriends it, but there’s a poacher on the loose who is dead set on catching the eagle and he doesn’t care who or what gets in his way. The Rescuers are sent in to help the lost boy find his way home and protect him and the eagle from McLeach.

Oh, did I mention McLeach is voiced by the late great George C. Scott?

You’re buying the DVD on Amazon right now, aren’t you?

Once again, the reference will probably go over the kids’ heads, but anyone my age and older knows that you can’t resist that smoke-and-venom laced voice of George C. Scott, and his talents are on full display in this movie. McLeach is exactly like his namesake—a bloodthirsty parasite. You’d think that as a full grown man, he’d just let the kid go and take the eagle, but no. McLeach considers the kid to be a threat because the kid knows that poaching is illegal and could rat him out, so not only does he kidnap the kid, he uses the kid as bait for crocodiles. Yes. This man used a small child as live crocodile bait. I mean…no wonder this movie is better than the original. Who has the balls to be that damned evil?

Plus, like Jafar and Iago, McLeach’s relationship with his creepy little lizard Joanna is hysterical. The lizard has a lust for eggs and so a couple hilarious segments devoted to the lizard getting at them like any annoying pet would. I highly recommend the sequence of the lizard getting the dozen eggs McLeach was trying to eat for lunch out of his lunchbox. It is Tom and Jerry levels of hilarious shenanigans. I know Disney overuses animal sidekicks, but that scene truly deserves a lot of credit for comedic timing and visuals.

Give this film a try. I think you’ll honestly find yourself impressed with how well it stands up, and how truly beautiful the animation style is. You get an excellent feel for the outback and a great story with vibrant characters to boot.

Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove)

Man, sometimes Disney just knocks it out of the park with casting, and the Emperor’s New Groove is no exception. It’s one of those Disney movies that is irresistible from start to finish. No matter when it’s on and no matter what platform, I will watch this movie and laugh myself silly every time.

Once again, we have a villainess who is just so over-the-top phenomenal that I can’t help but sing the casting director’s praises. We are treated to none other than the glorious late Eartha Kitt as Yzma, the emperor’s evil advisor who is responsible for the plot to kill him, which thankfully went awry. Eartha Kitt is a legend for a reason. Yzma is just as funny and snarky as Hades, and I honestly think it would have been amazing for these two villains to meet and have a Snark Off.

I love Yzma’s constant cantankerous nature on top of her clear vanity and ego. It’s one of the personality types that often is given to male characters, and so it’s all the more interesting and fun to see it portrayed via Eartha Kitt’s amazing voice acting. She’s wonderful because she feels like the kind of person who would be in power over Kuzco’s empire while he’s running around being a selfish brat. I love how fashionable she is and how she just rolls with the ridiculous things she’s forced to endure while trying to catch Kuzco. Her deadpan alone will bring tears to your eyes. “Are you talking to that squirrel?

Plus, Yzma and Kronk might be my all-time favorite Disney villain duo if only because they’re relationship is pure genius. Despite how the partnership ends up, it’s pretty funny that they both seem to know each other well and get along on some superficial level. Pretty much everything Kronk does is amazing and I want to put him in my pocket, so it’s easy to see that Yzma hadn’t gotten rid of him yet even though he was driving her crazy. Special mention goes to the jump rope moment where she is discussing her evil plan while actually jumping rope and playing patty-cake with Kronk. It’s priceless. You can’t not love this duo. Even after Yzma loses, she and Kronk are still hanging out and it’s brilliant.

If there’s one company that knows how good it feels to be evil this October Halloween season, it’s Disney.

Kyoko’s Favorite Movies of 2016

So. This year has been an enormous, raging, uncontrollable garbage fire, but at least it gave us some good movies. Here’s my shortlist of the best movies for 2016 that have been released.

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Captain America: Civil War: I don’t think anyone’s shocked at this being one of my first picks for the best of 2016. Like the Avengers, this movie gives me a massive rush of fangasm to see so many of our Marvel heroes in one story, and it’s great because not only do we know the core team, but we also get introduced to some new faces. Everyone went into this movie expecting to love the fight scenes—which were incredible—and yet we all came out with the same consensus: bump the main team, we need 1000000% more Black Panther and Spider-Man. I am truly blown away how much I liked those two. They were by far the biggest standout characters introduced into the MCU and I cannot wait for both of their solo films, because they have proven to be incredibly interesting. Still, I of course give the movie credit for being the most heart-wrenching film in the MCU canon. We were hit hard and often in the feels, from losing Peggy Carter to seeing Tony and Steve’s friendship fall apart to seeing poor Bucky being used against his will to murder the innocent. It’s a phenomenal film with all the right elements and it has a massive rewatch quality for that same reason.

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Moana: Again, this is no surprise. I am a huge Disney fan, and I am especially a fan of Disney princess films and how they have evolved over the decades. Moana is exactly that: the natural progression of a Disney princess with modern day writing. Honestly, it’s like the movie had a checklist of “impossibly awesome things” and it just checked them off one by one. Likable, realistic protagonist? Check. Creative, visually-stunning environment? Check. Bechdel Test pass? Check. Hilarious lines? Check. Catchy-as-hell musical numbers? Check. Gripping story with plenty of action and adventure? Check. Open exploration of people of color, also portrayed by people of color? Check, check, check. This film is a dream. It’s just so exciting and wonderful and powerful that I’ve already seen it twice and I’m trying my hardest not to see it a third time before it leaves theaters. So few films understand that there is a difference between seeing a movie and experiencing a movie. Moana is an experience. I found myself tearing up at the oddest moments, at moments that weren’t even sad, because I was just so wrapped up in the adventure and how it made me feel like anything was possible and that I got to be on this journey with these wonderful characters. Call me petty, but I am so damned glad that Moana was the one to take the crown away from Frozen in terms of opening weekend. Every bit of praise this film has gotten is more than well-earned. It’s practically demanded.

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Storks: This one sort of slipped by a lot of people due to when it was released, but Storks was just the quirky kids’ film that I was looking for and I really enjoyed it. Even though I want to say they marketed it as the makers of the Lego Movie, this film smacks a lot of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, in terms of 70% of the jokes being Lampshade Hanging. It could really be argued that it’s more for teens and adults than it is for kids’, and I think the box office and its critical reception reflect that. It’s certainly not a bad thing, either. I was howling. It’s extremely creative, the performances are hilarious, and the humor is spot on. I told my parents to rent it one day so they can crack up at all the great parenting jokes. I consider it a hidden gem among the 2016 films and it’s worth a watch if you haven’t seen it.

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Zootopia: Before Moana blew my mind, Zootopia was the other Disney film that completely made me fall head-over-heels in love with it, and I still am to this day. The last time I’ve watched a Disney film this many times, it was Tangled all the way back in 2010. I love Zootopia so much that I own two versions of it: the DVD and the Amazon streaming digital video, though to be fair, I didn’t know Netflix would add it to their library this fall. Zootopia is life. It’s such a well told story with an amazing examination of all kinds of prejudice, from basic sexism to complicated accidental reinforced stereotypes to obvious bigotry. I haven’t seen an animated film handle these concepts this well since Cats Don’t Dance. It’s so relevant now considering what’s been going on the past several years and yet even without the strongly worded, mature message, it’s just an enjoyable film with delightful characters.

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The Legend of Tarzan: Oh, quit gaping at me. This movie was also pretty much panned by most people, but no one really disliked it moreso than they were just indifferent to it. Of the movies on my list, this is definitely at the bottom, but regardless, I actually really enjoyed this movie. To be clear, I didn’t expect to. The trailers were pretty generic and I really adore Disney’s take on Tarzan, so I wasn’t really in the market for a new interpretation, but once I saw that it wasn’t Disney remaking itself like it’s been doing in recent years, I decided to give it a try. (And half naked Alexander Skarsgaard is hard to say no to.) I discovered a surprisingly thoughtful film that paid respect to both sides of the fence in terms of nature and man. It doesn’t browbeat and it doesn’t have the same white savior problem that a lot of films similar to it tend to have. I really loved the flashback scenes of Tarzan’s early life. They were gripping and deeply emotional, and the performances were excellent, as was the cinematography and the soundtrack. I would argue it’s worth a watch or a rental for that same reason. I do admit that Margot Robbie is extremely damsel-y and useless, and Christoph Waltz is completely wasted on this script, but everything else about the film was good.

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Deadpool: This needs no explanation. It was perfection. You know and I know it. Boom.

kubo-and-the-two-strings

Kubo and the Two Strings: Like Storks, Kubo was sort of a niche marketed film, really only made for those who are really passionate about animated fairytales. Well, I am one of those people. I adore Laika productions, and Kubo is no exception. It’s a masterfully told, utterly moving, impressively beautiful film. It’s mature, but it still is palatable for children and young adults. If nothing else, Kubo needs to be seen for how rich and vibrant and detailed its cinematography is, and considering everything is stop-motion, it demands to be appreciated. The only downside is that unfortunately, the cast is not as diverse as it should have been. Don’t get me wrong: the voices chosen totally fit the characters and each actor did one hell of a job, but I still find myself disappointed that a movie set in feudal Japan has so few Japanese actors in it. The biggest casualty is George Takei, who had about three lines as a minor character. What the hell, Hollywood. It’s friggin’ George Takei and you didn’t give him a main role? Shame on you! Despite that shortcoming, Kubo is phenomenal and should not be missed.

I’ve got two more films on the docket for 2016: Rogue One and Passengers, so stay tuned for a possible update to this list in a couple of weeks. Have a happy!

Kyoko’s Top 18 Most Hateable Villains (Part 2)

Welcome back to the Kyoko’s Top 18 Most Hateable Movie Villains of the last 20 years! We have more insidious bastards underway, so let’s keep going! Spoilers ahead, as always.

12. Clayton from Tarzan (1999)

Played by Brian Blessed

Played by Brian Blessed

If there’s one thing Disney understands, it’s dastardly villains, and Clayton—while certainly not the worst villain of their Rogues Gallery—is by far one of the easiest villains to hate. What’s so brilliant about Clayton is his escalation from selfish prick to a violent psychopath. He starts off as seeming like a single-minded, pompous a-hole escorting Jane and her father around so he can capture gorillas. For a while, he seems like just an afterthought, but then he slowly creeps his way into the antagonist role by trying to get Tarzan to give him what he wants. Then, he steps completely into the villain position when he manipulates Tarzan’s feelings for Jane in order to find the gorilla’s nest, and by the time Tarzan breaks out of prison to save his family, Clayton is long gone and there’s nothing but a monster left.

The brilliant thing about Clayton is the role reversal. He sees Tarzan and his family as nothing more than savages when in fact, Clayton’s behavior in the climax is the most animalistic thing in the entire film. The best part by far is the fact that he is responsible for his own death by allowing that inhuman rage to take over until it claimed his life.

What makes him hit my hateable villain list is that he so knowingly tricked Tarzan into getting his entire family sold into slavery, or killed, and didn’t give a damn. What’s more is that he rubbed it in Tarzan’s face, saying, “Couldn’t have done it without you.” How petty and nasty do you have to be to slaughter someone’s entire family for money and then have the nerve to laugh about it? Clayton was threatening, imposing, and just plain slimy. People really do not give this movie the credit it deserves and if anything, Clayton demands credit where credit is due if only for being one of the most smug, ruthless villains in all of Disney history.

 

11. Drew from Meet Joe Black (1998)

Played by Jake Weber

Played by Jake Weber

Well, we have another obscure choice here, but I promise I won’t go full Nostalgia Critic on you. Meet Joe Black is a film loosely based on ‘Death Takes a Holiday’ (1934) where Death embodies the body of a handsome young man (Brad Pitt) and shadows Bill Parrish (Anthony Hopkins), a wealthy communications mogul, in exchange for allowing him to live through his 65th birthday. Bill was scheduled to die, but since Bill has lived such a lavish, wonderful life, Death tells him he can stay alive as long as he guides him through the various things in life that are completely alien to him. Bill gives Death the name ‘Joe Black’, as he has sworn not to reveal Death’s identity to his family, and he begins accidentally upsetting things all over Bill’s life with his curious presence. Consequently, Joe takes a liking to Bill’s daughter Susan (Claire Forlani) and she reciprocates, which pisses off her boyfriend Drew, who just happens to be part of the board of directors at her father’s company and is unknowingly a mole trying to steal it right out from under the old man.

What makes Drew so insidious is the fact that he’s sleeping with Bill’s daughter while knowing he’s a few steps away from stealing the old man’s company and leaving him with nothing. Since the story starts in media res, we’re never told if Drew started dating Susan to get close to Bill or if he just happened to like her, and it’s that much more distasteful without knowing. He’s such an arrogant little shit when you consider Bill treated him with respect and took him in as one of them and all Drew could think about was dismantling Bill’s company and selling it.

Furthermore, Drew placed high on this list because he also used another member of Bill’s family to bring him down: Quince (Jeffrey Tambor), who is married to Bill’s eldest daughter, Allison (Marcia Gay Harden). Quince mistakenly thinks that Joe is making decisions for Bill, which is against a code of conduct with the company, and accidentally tells Drew, which gives Drew the perfect opportunity to vote Bill out as CEO, meaning Drew now has the power to sell Parrish Communications. Wow. That’s two family members he’s screwed over with no regard for how it will affect them, not to mention Bill himself.

Drew is one of the best embodiments of greed that I’ve seen in years. He has one end goal and he will tear through as many people as he can to get it. Honestly, I was kind of wishing Joe broke protocol and just sent his weasel ass to hell, but since Drew does get some pretty great comeuppance, I can live with it.

 

 10. Mike from Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

Played by Richard T. Jones

Played by Richard T. Jones

Disclaimer: I’m not a fan of Tyler Perry. I think he has exactly two good movies and that’s it (Diary of a Mad Black Woman and The Family That Preys, if you’re curious). To his credit, the plays he made before he got famous were also pretty damn good, but now he’s just a victim of selling out. Selling out doesn’t mean making money; it means trading in your talent for making a quick buck. There has been no effort put into the man’s work in the last 5-7 years, and I think Why Did I Get Married was the first step down his path to failure.

For those who are fortunate enough to sidestep Tyler Perry films, Why Did I Get Married is a film about four couples who get together once every year to reevaluate and work on their marriages during a couples’ retreat. Mike is married to Sheila (Jill Scott) and has been cheating on her for God-knows how long, but she refuses to see it because she thinks his mistreatment of her is due to her obesity.

I do admit that part of Mike’s hateability stems from bad writing. We are introduced to him and soon find out there is literally nothing to like about this man. He is a complete and total asshole. He insults Sheila in front of anyone within hearing range. For instance, when she is told she can’t fly with him to the retreat due to her size/weight, he tells her to rent a car and drive there and just flies without her. Oh, and did I mention the girl he’s cheating on Sheila with (a) is also going on the retreat with him and (b) is Sheila’s “best friend”? Yep. Class act, that Mike.

What truly tears it for me is two scenes: (1) when Sheila goes shopping and finds a lovely silk gown to wear for Mike and he literally laughs in her face after she shows it to him and then goes to bed (2) when he finally reveals he’s been cheating on her after all this time and cops an attitude when she is speechless. Nothing gets my goat like a bad husband in movies, especially one who constantly dumps on a sweet naïve woman like Sheila. I do blame her for being in denial about it and for marrying a guy who seriously never shows one single positive quality from introduction to the end of the film, but the thing is that there are so many women who let themselves be bullied by guys like Mike. I can understand falling out of love with someone, but Mike is so hateable because he was a coward for not simply divorcing her and starting a new relationship. Even if he was worried about money or whatever, he had no excuse not to just leave her instead of sticking around to poke holes in her confidence and put her down constantly. That kind of guy, fictional or not, is the kind of guy who needs an honest-to-God no-holds-barred beatdown. Preferably by someone the size of The Rock. Curb-stomp his ass, for all I care. Mike is easily one of the worst fictional husbands the silver screen has ever seen, and any man like him deserves nothing short of getting their ass kicked.

 

9. Professor James Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

Prof Moriarty A Game of Shadows

Played by Jared Harris

Yes, the game is afoot. I love the RDJ-Jude Law-Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes from 2009. It had impeccable style, excellent music, glorious action, kick ass cinematography, and fresh spins on the characters we’ve known for decades. But that’s the first movie. The sequel? Eh. Less so.

Moriarty has been played by plenty of men since he first waltzed into Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s work, but Jared Harris definitely did a good job making you despise this man to his absolute core. There are just so many reasons to hate him. He is arrogant, smug, has no regard for human life, vicious, conniving, and self-worshiping. Holmes may be an obsessive jerk at times, but he is nothing short of an angel in comparison to Moriarty. This man would doom entire countries for his own glory and he practically revels in the misery he causes others.

Normally, this would just make him your garden-variety villain, but there is one thing that separates Moriarty from someone like Lord Blackwood from the first film.

He kills Irene Adler.

You know, the literal best thing about the first movie.

That’s right, folks. The best female character I’ve seen in years gets Stuffed Into a Fridge thanks to Professor frickin’ Moriarty, and that’s why I hate him so much.

Irene Adler gave me air. I loved Holmes and Watson running around snarking up a storm and kicking ass, but Irene did all of that and she looked fabulous doing it. She was gutsy and smart and effective and powerful and relevant. You don’t know how rare that is for a male-centric film like Sherlock Holmes, and Moriarty just kills her like she was nothing. Screw that, and screw him. I was rooting for Holmes to throw his ass off that balcony for the fact that he took that great of a female character away from me.

Call me biased, but I call it like I see it. Destroy all of Britain if you want, but you take Irene away and it’s on.

 

 8. William Johns from Pitch Black (2000)

Played by Cole Hauser

Played by Cole Hauser

Pitch Black is one of the best thriller sci-fi horror films ever, hands down. It reinvented the survivor alien flick the way that Alien helped the entire genre find its footing. No one does it like Pitch Black, not even that sorry-ass sequel from 2013 that no one talks about because we pretend it doesn’t exist.

If for some reason you live in a cave and didn’t see it, Pitch Black is Vin Diesel’s claim to fame about a transport vessel that gets caught in a meteor storm and crashlands on a hostile alien planet. Said aliens are a race of bloodthirsty creatures that can only survive in the dark, and the planet just so happens to have an eclipse on the way, so the race is on to get the ship repaired and get off planet before the eclipse. There’s just one hitch. One of the crew members is an acclaimed serial killer named Riddick and he might pick them all off or simply take the ship and leave them to die.

Johns is the bounty hunter who captured Riddick and was taking him to a maximum security prison before they crash-land, so tensions are high. His character is easily one of the best written villains in the genre because he starts out much like your typical alpha male hero, but then you peel back some layers and you find the monster within. For instance, right after the ship crashes, one of the crew members is impaled through the chest with a piece of metal and when Carolyn Fry (Radha Mitchell) tries to find the morphine to ease his pain before he dies, Johns pretends like he doesn’t know what happened to it. We find out later Johns is a morphine-addict and couldn’t even spare one vial—that he had dozens of, mind you—to allow that poor man a peaceful death. After that, we find out he’s not as brave and commanding as he wants us to believe, picking a fight with Carolyn before they leave in the dark to get to the ship and once they’re out in the dark and they lose more survivors.

The final point-of-no-return for Johns is when he suggests they need bait to keep the killer aliens off their backs, so he conspires with Riddick to kill one of them and drag their body behind them to keep the aliens occupied. One of the survivors is Jack, a young girl pretending to be a boy, and Johns tells Riddick to kill her. Riddick takes exception to that, to say the least.

Johns is so very easy to hate, but the cleverness of his character is that he is such a good foil for Riddick. The entire film builds up Riddick’s reputation and you are led to believe he’s nothing more than a ruthless murderer, but then you see that he’s actually more of a survivor, not a killer. Johns is the reason they didn’t get the ship ready in time. Johns is the reason so many of the crew members died. Johns is the real killer here, but he puts on an air of righteousness because Riddick is a criminal and they have a past. He’s nothing more than a coward with a big gun, and what’s more hateable than that?

 

7. Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Played by Tony Jay

Played by Tony Jay

It’s kind of impossible to pick a favorite animated Disney film, but gun to my head I’d say Hunchback of Notre Dame might be mine. It’s so fantastic, and most of that has to do with the fact that it’s so not a kids’ movie. This movie is deep. It deals with the kinds of issues that children don’t start understanding until they hit the double-digits, and that’s perhaps why it’s not one of the more popular Disney films, especially considering the deadly serious source material.

People often make lists of the most evil Disney villains, and for me personally, Frollo always wins. I mean, let me lay it out on paper for you (so to speak). Here you have a corrupt minister who has been viciously chasing down a gypsy woman and when he finally catches her and kills her (ON SCREEN, PEOPLE—HE KICKS HER IN THE FACE, AND SHE FALLS AND BREAKS HER NECK HOLY CRAP), then he turns his hatred on an innocent misshapen baby. Whom he then decides to drown until the archdeacon changes his mind. Oh, so maybe he finally grows a conscience and reforms as he raises the child—NOPE. He then gives the baby a name that means “half-formed”, and turns him into his personal slave, all the while filling the boy’s head with lies that he is a monster and no one will ever love him so he has to stay locked away forever serving his master.

Okay, so he’s not father of the year, maybe he has other qualities—oh, what’s that? The beautiful gypsy girl you want for your own stands up to you? Order her to be arrested and given to you or you’ll burn her at the stake? Then find out she has a secret place for her people and smoke them out and threaten to kill them all if she doesn’t come forward? Then when you do find her, you burn her at the stake claiming she’s a witch? Then you try to murder her and the poor boy you turned into a slave with your sword?

No, that’s perfectly understandable, Frollo. Who wouldn’t do all of that?

Seriously, people, Frollo is by far the most evil Disney villain of all time. I mean, come on. He’s just the most posturing, sadistic sick freak to ever be animated by that company. No matter how bad our other villains have been, you have a member of the church who full-on advocates genocide and then has the nerve to lust after one of the women of the race he is actively trying to eliminate. There isn’t enough room in Hell for all that evil. Frollo is hands-down always going to be the most evil person in all of Disney, and I think they are hard-pressed to create someone as horrid again.

Just like they’d be hard-pressed to make another villain song that damn scary-good.

Who will top the charts? Find out in Part 3!

On “Strong Modern Women”

You damn well better believe we can, bitch.

You damn well better believe we can, bitch.

So there have been more than a few posts on Tumblr of Frozen fans saying that Frozen is one of the following:

-“The first Disney movie to prove that women can save men”

-“The first Disney movie about a relationship between siblings”

-“The first Disney movie with a modern message about women”

-“The first Disney movie that isn’t all about the love story”

Today, dear readers, I’m going to introduce you to Cranky Old Grandma Kyo because she has some things to say about this startling phenomenon in the Frozen fandom.

That is pure frozen bullshit.

There. I said it.

Look, I’m only 25 years old (OneRepublic says, “Old, but I’m not that old; young, but I’m not that bold…”) and I can disprove every single one of those statements up there and explain in full detail why they are false. Disney films aren’t always about Boy Meets Girl and Boy Saves Girl. Far from it. These whippersnappers need a quick history lesson, and then to understand that this “strong modern women” myth needs to be put to bed immediately.

Myth #1: “Frozen is the first Disney movie to prove that women can save men.”

Ahem. Let’s recap:

-Ariel saved Eric (The Little Mermaid, 1989)

-Belle saved the Beast (Beauty and the Beast, 1991)

-Pocahontas saved John Smith (Pocahontas, 1995)

-Esmerelda saved Quasimodo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1996)

-Meg saved Hercules (Hercules, 1997)

-Mulan saved Shang and ALL OF CHINA (Mulan, 1998)

-Kida saved Milo and ALL OF ATLANTIS (Atlantis: The Lost Empire, 2001)

-Tiana saved Naveen (Princess and the Frog, 2009)

-Rapunzel saved Eugene (Tangled, 2010)

There. An entire list, and the most recent of which was not even a whole four years ago. What in the hell brought this argument to life? I’m glad that people enjoyed Frozen, I really am, but it is in no way the “first” to do jack-diddly-squat for women in the Disney franchise. Women in the Disney movies have been saving their boyfriends’ collective handsome butts since 1989, and that’s only counting women who have saved their love interests, not women who have saved someone metaphorically (ex. Sleeping Beauty gave the Prince the courage and will to defeat Maleficent). I’m not trying to discredit anything that Elsa and Anna did in Frozen. I’m simply saying they aren’t the first to do it, and no one should ever short change the beautiful kick ass ladies who came in front of them paving the way. These women were shining examples of bravery, fortitude, strength, poise, and realism.

For instance, remember Mulan? She was a shy, bumbling girl who was terrified of herself and wanted to save her father. She dug deep and she found the will to face an entire army of men who could have her killed if they found out her secret, and she did it out of love for her father. That is powerful. No one can sneeze at that kind of devotion and love. I played the Mulan soundtrack over and over again when I was a young girl because her story spoke to me, especially “Reflection” because it talks about the agony of being unsure of who you truly are beneath. Disney absolutely knocked it out of the park with that song, and with Mulan in general, if you ask me.

Myth #2: “Frozen is the first Disney movie about a relationship between siblings.”

-The Fox and the Hound, 1981 (Shut up, it counts and you know it.)

-The Lion King, 1994

-Lilo and Stitch, 2002

-Brother Bear, 2003

Was Elsa and Anna’s relationship adorable and important? Of course. Was it the first to explore tensions between two siblings that resulted in catastrophe? Hell to the no. I mean, do you remember Scar’s last words to Mufasa? That’s one of the most cold blooded death scenes in cinema history. Scar was so jealous of his brother’s strength and benevolence that he murdered him, lied about it, tried to murder his own nephew, and then led a kingdom into ruin all because of his inferiority complex trying to compensate for something. That is beyond incredible.

However, for argument’s sake, let’s focus on the girls’ side. Lilo & Stitch broke barriers (and hearts, good God, I STILL cry every time Stitch says, “Ohana means family”) with their troubled relationship. Disney is no stranger to orphans, but L & S was the first time they did a modern take on a struggling pair who were down on their luck. Nani’s devotion to her sister was just legendary, but it was also realistic. Anyone with siblings (myself included) can verify that is EXACTLY how they act around each other, and how even when things are at their worst, they still want them to be happy no matter what.  It is a bond that no one can break when it’s true familial love. I like that Anna’s act of true love wasn’t romantic because it was sweet, but it also isn’t the first time someone’s done it. Nani hated to have to give Lilo up for adoption, but she finally accepted it when she thought about Lilo having a better life without her. Or how about Kenai giving up his human life to remain a bear and help raise Koda? Those were the building blocks leading up to Frozen. Without them, would we be standing where we are now?

Myth #3: “Frozen is the first movie with a modern message about women.”

-Snow White is about finding hope in hopeless situations and overcoming adversity with kindness and humility

-Cinderella is about being patient and virtuous

-Alice in Wonderland is about learning to appreciate your situation in comparison to what could be worse

-The Little Mermaid is about dealing with adolescence and wanting to grow as a person

-The Beauty and the Beast is about seeing beyond the skin and finding virtue within

-Aladdin is about realizing the grass is always greener and to instead appreciate what you have instead of what you don’t

-Pocahontas is about maturity of spirit and accepting the differences of others’

-The Hunchback of Notre Dame is about overcoming persecution and racial hatred with love and courage

-Mulan is about fighting gender roles and equalizing the common ground for both men and women

-Tangled is about self-discovery and expanding one’s scope of the world

-Princess and the Frog is about remembering that there is more to life than dreams and that one can miss out accidentally

All of these stories, and those are just the ones with female-centric storylines, have taught us something as children and even more as adults. Any one of those ladies up there has proven their worth by overcoming outrageous obstacles, both physically and metaphorically. However, this is my central argument–the myth of the “modern woman.” I see post after post whining about misogyny and sexism around the world, and yet they all say the same thing, “Men aren’t any better than us! We should just do it to them and see how they feel!” or any other variation talking down to all men as if every one of them is the same as the bastards who keep spouting ignorance about women. Fire and fire don’t put out the fire. I argue that there is no “modern woman” because women have always been beautiful, strong, smart, fierce, independent, layered creatures. Yes, there are previous time periods where women weren’t portrayed as we wished to see them in cinema and television, but Frozen is just a tiny droplet in an ocean of wonderful films about female perseverance. Again, I’m not trying to diminish it, but people need to understand that the early Disney films are not as archaic as they think.

For instance, I am a black female. We didn’t get a black princess until 2009, but guess what? I wasn’t up in arms about it. Why? Because there have been Disney women of color portrayed in a flattering light for years. I’ve mentioned before that my all time favorite Disney gal isn’t even a Disney princess–it’s Esmeralda. I adore her. I remember being a kid and seeing this dark skinned goddess not only bewitching the handsome captain of the guard and helping him realize he was working for the scum of the earth, but she also showed infinite kindness to a poor lost man, and she kicked the crap out of a bunch of stupid guards, and she sang beautifully asking for the deliverance of her people, and she inspired a revolution to end racial hatred in a city run by a corrupt, lustful bastard. That is the legacy Disney has built, and that is what I want to bring attention to.

Women have always been what some people are only seeing them now as. If you think Frozen is the first time you’ve seen that woman, you need to watch more movies, mate. I’m not saying all women have been fully represented by Disney because that’s not true, but they have introduced us to that great lady several times. Elsa and Anna will be inducted into an already bursting club of awesome girls who sing and dance and read and fight and love and hate. Frozen is a good movie, and we will love Elsa and Anna as much as we’ve loved the women who have come before them, and that’s how it should be. We shouldn’t be putting any of them on pedestals. It’s the wave, not the water droplets, that move mountains.

Myth #4: “Frozen is the first Disney movie that isn’t all about the love story.”

-Cinderella (Seriously, the Prince had like two lines, we all know it’s not about him.)

-Alice in Wonderland

-Mulan

-Tarzan

-Treasure Planet

-The Lion King

-The Emperor’s New Groove

-Atlantis: The Lost Empire

-Lilo and Stitch

-Brother Bear

-Bolt

-Wreck It Ralph

Disney stories are famous for adorable and majestic love stories, but that’s not all they are about. It’s not just because some boys find love stories icky. It’s because life isn’t all about love and dating. Neither are women. This is also why I think the “strong modern woman” term needs to be ditched. Every woman is different. Some women need to have  a boyfriend/girlfriend at all times. Some women need a man/woman like the Hulk needs Loki. Some women are in between, fine with one and fine without one. Some women are outspoken and bold. Some women are meek and quiet. All of them are awesome. All of them are strong, just in different ways, and they have been that way in Disney movies for ages. Maybe they didn’t do it with the flair that Elsa did it in “Let It Go” (although I am awfully partial to Ursula’s “Poor Unfortunate Souls” for a bad girl getting down like nobody’s business), but they did it nonetheless. These fictional women have proven over and over again that women are multifaceted and to be feared, loved, and respected as characters. If we want stupid men to see us as equals, we need to draw from all parts of the argument, not just the shiny new one that people favor. I’m not saying I’m perfectly well adjusted as a human being (I mean, for Odin’s sake, I’m a novelist, we’re all nuts), but Disney gave me one of the best childhoods ever because of this fantastic spectrum of women who were all different, and yet inspiring. I never felt alone when I watched their films because I saw all the pieces that make up our fair gender. I think those pieces shouldn’t be pushed aside or swept under the rug. And I think I’m not the only one, so that’s why I wrote this post.

Frozen is great. No bones about it. But please, don’t forget the hundreds of hardworking ladies in the decades before them who made it possible for us to enjoy it. We owe them that.